theumbrellagirl

laughing

2010-01-25T17:20:00.000-08:00

happy australia day! wow its been a while but through the prompting of the triple j hottest 100 i thought i'd post something

here's my vote list:
David Byrne And Dirty Projectors - Knotty Pine
Florence & The Machine - Dog Days Are Over
Girls - Lust For Life
Hockey - Song Away
Lisa Mitchell - Clean White Love
Little Birdy - Hairdo
Maccabees, The - Love You Better
Mumford & Sons - Little Lion Man
Oh Mercy - Get You Back
Regina Spektor - Laughing With

laughing with is playing now so im pretty happy, at least one!

i hope you have a fantastic day no matter where you are!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2009-12-21T02:59:00.000-08:00

hope you all have a fantastic christmas and a happy new year!

va va va vintage.

2009-12-17T02:45:00.000-08:00

plus, for a while i have followed the truly fantastic and fascinating blog trish hunter finds which involves many, many lovely op shops finds which causes extreme jealousy. but no more as there is now the chance to buy these items at her new shop:

so i do suggest you check it out.

alan ruck, we love you.

2009-12-17T02:33:00.000-08:00

its been raining all day, which is nice, really. i can sort of pretend i'm overseas and going to have a, in the slightest, wet christmas.

with my great big cake

2009-12-12T00:07:00.000-08:00

tomorrow, my friend and i are seeing the french kissers which is meant to be a summary of current teenage culture. its about a pair of teenagers 'far removed from the cool crowd' ( at this comment in the film review on television, my mother turned to me and said, 'oh you should really see that'. what is she implying?). the films in french. which makes you feel classier and arty seeing it. the film could be some terrible, twee chick flick and you just say i am seeing 'le cheval et le pain' and people would think 'wow, what a cool person'. or maybe not, especially because you're seeing a film called the horse and the bread.

panda. i hate you.

2009-12-10T17:27:00.001-08:00

right. the holidays. i actually am not a great fan of holidays, mainly because i need things to do. which is why i have taken up making mix tapes! not really on tapes because that would mean taping over 'bedtime stories for happy children', which are about the only tapes that are officially mine (although this could be perceived as 'cutting edge') . not the ones i've nicked from my parents or brother.

my first tape was for my friend georgia for her birthday, called, 'georgia b's crap cake birthday mix tape'. in year 9 when we were part of the floorball team (this is an actual sport, seriously) we decided to woo our fellow team mates who were all men by the way foretold in all movies, through the stomach. unfortunately we were unable to actually produce cakes that were aesthetically pleasing, a result of icing them white with rainbow sprinkles and then letting them melt. looking rather like a rainbow had vomitted. our woo-ees (?) describing them as 'grunt, grunt, they look like crap ... but taste good'. so there we go, long story to the title, but here's the track listing.

what's a girl to do? - bat for lashes
victoria (cover)- the kooks
closer- travis
punks- i heart hiroshima
stevie- lisa mitchell
1901- phoenix
angela- jarvis cocker
sheena is a punk rocker (cover)- yeah yeah yeahs
realer pretender- prinzhorn dance school
knotty pine- david byrne and the dirty projectors
rocky raccoon (cover)- johnny flynn
i feel it all- feist
johnny appleseed- joe strummer and the mescaleros
make up your mind- yves klein blue
black wax- dananananaykroyd
wayside- canvas kites
awkward orchid orchard- the boat people
first to know- mystery jets
electric feel- mgmt
skeleton song- kate nash (this is basically our song)
girls and boys in love- rumble strips
arcade precinct- 1990s
i'm alive- vincent vincent and the villains
jackie wilson said (i'm in heaven when you smile)- van morrisson

to then produce the second mix tape for my friend gypsy, 'owls are better than panda imports'. why? because currently in adelaide nearly every time you turn on the tv they're going on about these blooming panda's they've imported from china, for what reason? the well being of the pandas? what? they obviously don't care about the well being of the panda because they've named them wang wang and funi.

tomblands- the libertines
hot kisses, cold tiles- fergus brown ('you look like a panda that hasn't had a meal for a year)
fonz- eugene mcguiness
cheerleader- grizzly bear
straight to hell (cover)- lily allen feat. mick jones
keys to your heart- the 101'ers
boys don't cry- the cure
ask- the smiths
hurt me- the jezabels
veiled in grey- mystery jets
going missing- maximo park
chattering face (when the hammock hits quartz)- denim owl
on/off- snow patrol
fever- takka takka
oh yeah- roxy music
dans un camion- dominque a.
you can do better than me- death cab for cuties
yankee dayonet (i will be home soon)- the decemberists
el caporal- my morning jacket
i can't wait- the sundays
tubthumping (cover)- angus and julia stone
2000 miles- the pretenders (thought i'd throw in a christmas song)

well there you go. i now officially have nothing to do. maybe i'll go listen to some of my bedtime stories for happy children tapes. bit of nostalgia, always good.

nothing happens in my town

2009-11-27T22:42:00.000-08:00

well, he didn't exactly split as i think the stage sort of prohibited that, but he did do a sort of leap. BUT. the concert was utterly amazing. paul smith wore this powder blue suit (as noted, above), that on a forty degree day, caused him to strip off at the end of 'apply some pressure', 'i hope that i live to see you undress' to the delight of the many female audience members. the entire time he wiggled, thrust his hips and jumped around all while keeping a beautiful tune. and they covered the go-betweens 'was there anything i could do'?. absolutely amazing.

plus, the support band, who told very lovely jokes (for example, a grasshopper walks into a bar, the barman says, 'we have a drink named after you', the grasshopper say, 'what kevin?', 'no grasshopper' so the grasshopper says, 'but i'm a horse', so the barman says, 'why the long face'. well, i liked them) and were all round lovely were denim owl. who i highly suggest checking out. half way through their set they asked where to get a good coffee and this one really clever man shouted 'SNOW TOWN'. which if you know anything about adelaide, is the place where they stuffed around ten bodies in barrels. classy adelaide.

thanks for coming back

2009-11-14T02:09:00.000-08:00

i am seeing these lovely men tomorrow night. i do hope paul smith does that mid air split that i keep raving about.

once exams are over i shall return to post things that virtually mean nothing. perhaps, hopefully, i shall be examining the mid air split of paul smith in full detail, to his hat down to his white lace ups.

Hilary ink..pen is my daughter!

2009-10-23T04:09:00.000-07:00

i have been awarded a blog award, thank you soren lorensen, very, very much.

in other completely unrelated news i am achieving my daily fill of murder through the old midsomer murders. four in this episode alone. much better than the new ones where you may get two if you're lucky. its a bit like the new cluedo, where no murder exists and its just a bit of stolen jewelry and perhaps professor plum gets a bashing in the corridor. now where's the fun in that?

don't trust the gardener hilary!

don't tell anyone!

2009-10-10T22:48:00.000-07:00

last day of the holidays and to reflect on the past two weeks i have not done much. my plans of major house cleaning, gardening and other things that don't sound that exciting (which may explain why they remain as they were) have not been completed and instead, i seem to have spent the last two weeks planning these amazing things that will occur in 6 years time. well done you!

although, i have seemed to have given myself a very cuttingly swish haircut that rather slightly resembles the mullet , the mullet i gave myself right in time for my year 8 class photos. my plan was to have a bob in the front with long at the back, but not too obviousl, and then be able to put my hair up and boom! a bob! who'd know? upon telling my brother this he stated 'nah, mullets are usually more neat'. so there we go.

for all you know, this could be me.

its not near

2009-10-04T03:00:00.000-07:00

i went and saw 'up' today in 3d, it was utterly fantastic if not a bit of a tear jerker, but i contained myself in the presence of friends. unlike in ice age where i wept, like a...french football player? is that what they say? having never properly been to a 3d movie i screeched when the things came at you, which i guess is the point, but yes, it scared me. and just then i caught a mosquito and it fell down my sleeve which is rather unfortunate. on a related topic, today when i changed out of my dress into my cat pyjama pants, a bug flew out of my dress. i wonder how long it stayed there for or if it just flew in and out in that brief time. if it had sat there watching the movie with me. ohh the questions, the questions. yes, i thought that was interesting, perhaps not.

hope you had a very, very fine weekend

just say yes

2009-10-01T01:30:00.000-07:00

i don't quite know what to think about the new snow patrol song. i have remained an utterly loyal fan, but i don't know about this one. i'm listening now and i like it, but not as much as say, disaster button or open your eyes. i probably sound like a complete berk, really. hm. i don't like change, i guess, but i do, so that's no excuse, dammit! actually i like it more now. i guess i'm getting used to it. i used to disgust tea and everything that was associated with it but now i drink about six cups a day and have withdrawal symptoms unless. hopefully this won't be quite the same, mind.

today i dressed my friends as clowns and bought a stevie nicks hat for four dollars but then accidentally fed someone chocolate which i probably shouldn't have, so, yes, but otherwise a pretty good day.

WHAT'S A FAMILY CAR DOING IN A PLACE LIKE THIS!

2009-09-28T05:04:00.000-07:00

i'm off to go watch the creepy david bowie clown attack poor drake before gene genie comes in to give mouth to mouth and before drake starts ranting. the clown gives me nightmares but not so much as bowie in labriynth in his tight tights. thats probably the scariest thing of my youth. its starting! ono!

hail!

2009-09-25T21:59:00.000-07:00

It was hailing out here, these little ice bullets that were very painful on the feet. Its finished now, but the sky its lavender so I'm expecting a bit more later. I don't mind, they taste quite good, pure water as Judi says. Of course, the family went outside with a colander and caught as many as possible for further meals.

plus, see this here, young fellow.

ophelia

2009-09-25T18:55:00.000-07:00

in winter, very cold, very stupid

eet

2009-08-28T04:15:00.000-07:00

i have a typewrite, hence, i don't really write here that much. well, not that anyone has particularly noticed. besides my father, hello there, but you have probably given up by now too.

'drown in the music and be saved'

this was nice, a nice quote. i thought i'd post it.

redhead

2009-08-25T00:29:00.001-07:00

Despite what Morrissey would say

2009-07-22T01:57:00.000-07:00

My brothers schnitzel:

ZOMG ITS AUSTRALIA

Yes, these things do amuse us.

because it tells you everything about everything and that's all I want to know.

2009-07-20T02:47:00.000-07:00

Its good to be back. It warm, I guess if it was hailing, pouring down I wouldn't be saying such, but its warm and sunny, if not a tiny bit windy. Every plant down the street is blooming, I guess they're also a bit sick of the cold and hope this could be the start of spring. This sun is probably a brief break before the cold kicks in. A few years back it snowed in August, can you imagine?

I'm reading 'Angela's Ashes' at the moment and Frank McCourt has passed, away recently. Its a bit upsetting really, to be reading his life story and now know the end, the complete end.

Well, I'm off to go collect the mail from the week. Have a very, very lovely week.

Just give me some candy after my hug

2009-07-14T08:00:00.000-07:00

I don't really like the heat. It gets to you, after a while. The cold is bitter, but at least you know it'll pass.

I'm back in Singapore to get the last of my stuff. I own a lot of crap. I have this massive box entitled 'MEMORIES' and its scribbles on pieces of paper, chocolate wrappers and ticket stubs. I know theres that romance of keeping the items, but do you actually need them? Probably not but I think I'll just keep them anyway. What do they say? If you don't have memories, what do you have? Do they say that? I don't know, but that's quite nice and quite true.

Teenage Kicks

2009-07-09T04:06:00.000-07:00

Whats more sad than watching Dynasty? Watching a movie based on the making of Dynasty, which is exactly what I did yesterday. I'm hoping I patched it up by watching an almost too art house film, ''Alice' by European director, Jan Švankmaje dated 1987. Usually I enjoy art house movies (my brother says its the sense of superiority I feel at its conclusion. Better than 'Dead at Breakfast' though) but this was a bit too...odd? The rabbit kept seeping sand, and then eating it again. Not before it dived into a drawer containing geometry materials followed closely by Alice, portraying a close up of Alice's hand after being pricked by a compass. You know those art house shots? Hand. Blood. Pause. Deathly silence. Hand. Blood. Gasp. Da da dannnn...TENSION. Though,I guess it did remain true to Lewis Carroll's novel. Its a very terrifying tale when you really think about it. I reckon anyway.

Other than that, I am waiting for my first zine (wow, I sound like an indie loser), YOU, to be delivered. I'm pretty excited. I recently received a postcard in the mail from my awesome friend, Jess, in Berlin and it was fantastic, dance worthy, to actually have something addressed to you. Makes you feel pretty important. Despite it saying to 'Bazzy'- my bogan name- I was over the moon. Even letters from the bank saying I have received five cents in interest (WAHAY!) make me feel important. Hopefully this sad little obsession with mail will change when I start to receive actual bills, or eviction notices, something along those lines, yay for getting old.

Pretend you never went to school

2009-07-07T03:09:00.000-07:00

Well, the Hottest 100 of all time, hosted on Triple J has officially started and I am preeeeeetttyy excited! Bon Iver- Skinny Love, Take Me Out- Franz Ferdinand, Common People- Pulp, No Woman No Cry- Bob Marley and the Wailers and Wolf and Me- TV on the Radio have already featured so I'm looking forward to the next 80.

My shortlist was so:
Joy Division - Love Will Tear Us Apart
David Bowie - Heroes
The Clash - Straight To Hell
The Smiths - What Difference Does It Make?
The Cure - Boys Don't Cry
Pulp - Do You Remember The First Time?
The Go-Betweens - Finding You
The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony
Snow Patrol - Same
The Jam - That's Entertainment

I'm hoping that my 'Love will Tear Us Apart' will make number one, but I wouldn't mind where it gets. Pulp has already featured, so I'm pretty happy. Hoping for a few Clash, Cure and Smiths song and hopefully one Bowie. I don't think Snow Patrol will feature but due to my loyalty, and love of their work, voted for a pretty odd favorite. off Final Straw 'That's Entertainment' should make it, but I don't think it will, the same with The Go-Betweens, despite their amazingness. The Verve's song is practically an anthem, so I'd be surprised if it doesn't feature but who knows. A few heavy metal songs, or metal I guess, are featuring but its good to feature everyones different tastes.

Looking over other peoples choices I feel like I've left out so many good bands, The Beatles, for one, who forgets the classics?! 'Come Together' has already featured and I'm expecting a lot more. I forget a lot of favorites stupidly, Echo and the Bunnymen, Crowded House (I think i shortlisted 'World Where you Live' but chose over it), Dire Straits ('Romeo and Juliet'),.Otis Redding ('Try a Little Tenderness') and Coldplay. 'Yellow' has already made the list and it was quite beautiful so stare at my roof whilst it played on the radio. I'm hoping 'Shiver' will get in, I love that song, despite Chris Martin calling it 'constructed', or something like that. Roxy Music! Argh! The Pogues! And what about 'Dancing in the Dark', cor!

'Cigarettes Will Kill You' by Ben Lee (first album the best album in this case) will hopefully get it as well as 'Brick' by Ben Folds Five, both classics to me. Plus The Killers! Whoops! I'm guessing...'Mr Brightside'? I hope for 'Jenny was a Friend of Mine', favorite song. Urgh! Forget that? 'Never Tear Us Apart' - INXS, classic, not forgetting my love of Badly Drawn Boy, Madness -'Our House', New Order-'Temptation', Nina Simone- 'Sinner Man', Aretha Franklin- 'You'll lose a good thing', or the obvious, 'R.E.S.P.E.C.T', The Pretenders, THE POLICE! Oh gosh! There's so many! But of course, I guess after so many, many, mannnny years of music there would have to be over a million songs and over a thousand artists! Well, I look forward to the rest of the countdown and by posting this I HAVE PROOF if one of my shortlisted songs actually get in. Please, please, please! But looking over all that I could've chosen, I probably would've gone insane. Oh and Elbow!

Well, music rant over. I'm just going to go hold myself in the corner now, thanks.

I have a couple of really cool guys in the back of my car

2009-07-06T04:15:00.000-07:00

Waiting for Flight of the Conchords to come on. Five minute post!!

It was 0 degrees this morning and everything was covered in dew with the red brick path outside practically like them Swedish ice board hotel things...practically like ice, basically (cha ching! Surprise ice!). I probably should have worn shoes but I never let logic get in the way of excruciating pain so there you go. Like the other day. Hm..this water is set to boil instead of waiting for bubbles or steam, I'll use my hands! Of course!

Well, that was about it really. I remember actually having something of substance to say but I forget. I think I'm going senile or something, is that even possible? I keep forgetting things, leaving my tea out for the whole day- then saying 'oh wow! A made tea! All for me!'Do do doo'- falling over things and generally stopping mid-way through conversation, confused. Do you know how confusing advertisments are today? Like that 'Lab tested' toliet paper ad, how are people supposed to get that? What if people thought that the Lab was in fact, a Retreiver. Then the whole ad wouldn't work! It just makes the kid look like an idiot because he needs a dog to get his toliet paper! Argh! My brother said that was blindingly obvious, Lab, Lab tested, Lab= dog, but I disagree. And that ad for crumpets? What is wrong with that thing? It looks constipated and creepy, and just plain evil. I wouldn't want that bread product near my kid. Maybe its just me. But isn't that a bit more sad?

Oh right, this was it:

FOTC!! Oh damn, they're making fun of Australians.

And this bands pretty cool.

Look here junior, don't you be so happy

2009-07-04T03:19:00.000-07:00

I'm reviewing my list of borrowed and reserved items from the library. Have come to the conclusion: need to get a life.

Today was a nice, cold yet fresh day..and I went to the library again. (NEED LIFE) I love that place but because I live in a small, little town you find that every time you go you see someone relatively known to you. Either you avoid these people, hiding in the 'Teen Non-fiction' because no one goes there -books containing titles such as: 'You're growing body' with seemingly cool blurbs that will lure us teens in- 'boys? Ew gross! But as time continues you will find hormones...what? Hormones? Well, as your body grows....' seriously. No one cares.This is why no one is ever in the back of the library. Or else they come up, tackle you with a hug, bringing you to the ground in deep emotions. Either way, obviously its not just me who spends all their waking hours in the library.

I once read (or maybe it was a Dilbert comic...who knows?) that knowledge was power, and that people that read books, gaining knowledge were corrupt. Well, thankfully I just borrow comics. Phew!

Today my brother found this fine gem of a DVD, to borrow:

The deers are afraid! My god! She must be awful!

At this moment in time we have this old black and white photograph of our relative riding a cow from about the 1930's mounted on our wall. She looks very happy. It must have been all the rage back then. The cow don't look too happy though. Well, heres little me from ages ago on a yak. It must run in the family.

I look pretty happy too.

I'll leave you on that.

DANANANANAAAAAAYKROYD!!!!

2009-07-03T06:27:00.000-07:00

Finished work experience and now have a very deep relationship with the 'Heaps Good SA' tshirt due to continuous stacking and folding, general touching. I suggest you all buy it, wear it overseas and promote South Australia and its awesomness. Too right.

Did you know that four cups of tea a day is good for you? Scientists have discovered (with funding by the Tea Council of the United Kingdom, coincidence? Of course not, pfft, sheesh) that drinking tea is revitalising, nourishing and full of goodness. So there you go, the English are getting it right. The other day a man said 'Wa-er, naugh-y, for a country that drinks so much tea you'd think they'd get the letter'. This followed his statement about how 'hot' the Super Nanny was.

Anyway I really don't have much to say besides obvious self promoting of South Australia and tea drinking. So I'll leave with this relatively new video by the band ' Dananananaykroyd', how cool is that name? Just listen to them to say their name, casually into conversation, if possible...'oh this? Oh (hahaha..highly superior laugh) this is Dananananaykroyd...you don't know them? Really?' Its meant to be a take on the Batman theme and that Blues Brother, Dan Aykroyd. You know? DANANANANAAAAAAYKROYD!!!!

And I think about leaving the house

2009-06-28T03:40:00.000-07:00

Here's a few slides of my recent body of work, well a tad bit more than a few but there you go:

I just realised how 'Pretty in Pink' this looks, besides the girl not quite achieving Molly Ringwald, still, nice.

Its about existence and identity and was mainly fueled by the bits and bobs picked up on the walk to the bus and some free books found in the trash.

May your shade be sweet

2009-06-26T06:56:00.000-07:00

Doesn't change

Here's a wrap up of my May and June in photographs.

Horse. Duh.

The following photos are from a recreation funeral thanks to the Victoriana society.There was a full procession, in Victorian dress, horses and carriage. It was stunning actually.

Don't try it. It literally is seven hours, Neil wasn't lying. Plus, in our family every time lentil is mentioned, its mandotory to say 'heavy, heavy', which sort of puts you off after a while.

Two posts in one day, daring stuff, I would try a third but thats kind of sad. Instead I'll resort to drafting it on a note pad or staring at the computer screen thinking of possibilities. Oh the possibilities. I also suggest you all see 'Sunshine Cleaning'. Great, great, great yet very emotional. I ate a bar of chocolate due to the enormous tragedy of it, and because it was chocolate. Unfortunately this lead to me leaving the theatre with chocolate all over my face. And I mean all over. Everywhere, on my hands, arms, nose. This may explain why I saw it by myself. Hmm.....

Oh Doctor, it really is bigger on the inside

2009-06-26T06:20:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well exams are finally over so now I can feel privileged to now sit at home and do nothing. Good, good. The geography exam had a question about this man, Dr Wamsley and if we approved of his conduct in erridicating the feral cat.

Yes, that is a cat on his head.

Unfortunately today, well fortunately, I don't know, whatever, I had to go to the doctor to get an injection. I'm pretty crap with injections, I dread them, doctors with javelin like needles saying 'this won't hurt a bit' before skewering me to the wall. This may have played a part in today's events.

Injection, fine, I said 'right, thanks' and left the doctors office. Came in, sat down, 'yep, that was fine, not too bad' before everything went white and I fainted. Apparently I started convulsing like I had a fit and moaning, my eyes rolling into the back of my head. Very pretty site indeed. I'm surprised I didn't start foaming at the mouth, to top it off. All I remember was dreaming of horses (a bit like this really) and wondering how odd it was for me to be sleeping. In the middle of the day! Scandalous! Rebel you!

I then awoke with the doctor holding my legs in the air, saying my name and the receptionist holding a glass of water, biting her lip. Even worse I was wearing these pants:
Whose going to take me seriously when I look like Bozos assistant. Well, that was a nice experience. And in two months time, its probably going to happen again. The doctor said the body prepares itself by feeling very hungry (my mother said, 'well thats no use, shes always hungry' thanks ma), sweaty, clammy and in young boys, 'certain things occurring downstairs,' as said in science (except he didn't use the euphemism. In normal circumstances I would've let out an immature giggle, but I was sitting in a dazed state amazed at the sight of my hands. They're amazing really, like feet, on your arms.)

To sound like a sad, pathetic whiny loser. I am sick with a cold on top of that so my eyes keep watering at random periods. Like I'm crying. At anything just, this incompetent right eye ('this chai is just, its just so good'). This always happens when I'm sick. In year 7, whilst watching a 'informative video' on the rainforest it just began, this little stream on my face. Everyone thought I was crying so I asked to be excused, even furthering the whole idea. I was patted on the back and told 'it would all be alright'. Well, its not, so you can't trust HSIE teachers, obviously. Pfft. Sorry for the sad, pity-me way of this post, but there you go. Have a good weekend!

Place to Be

2009-06-08T03:54:00.001-07:00

Hi I'm Justin. I'm a milk drinker. This is my cow.

2009-06-06T01:59:00.000-07:00

Can you actually have a profession as a milk drinker? And if you look at that Coles milk label, do you think the cows eyes are photo shopped? I keep looking at it and wondering, but if you want photo shopping check this mighty beast:

What a fine example of photo shopping this is. Indeed, Consu is in fact standing with Edward Cullen. Wow, the quality! This comes from the absolute scare of discovering New Moon is soon to be released and discussing the quality of Edwards hair. Its ginger. Its a scary thought, maybe its mind control, who knows?

I'll have some proper photographs to upload soon from History Week, finds and winter leaves. Guess what? Our heaters broken and we are warming ourselves with tea and endless amounts of socks, jumpers and trackies. Its all happening here. Yesterday I heard some girls discussing their looks, one complaining she had no look. Then she suggested taking up the bogan look because thats really in. I'm wondering if shes either really dumb, impressionable, actually is a bogan or a combination of all. If this actually is the truth, well I'm doing well. I'm hip! (I was once told, anything that was proclaimed as hip, wasn't. Because hip, wasn't hip. Some sort of weird theory but actually probably true.)

In other news. I want a cat. Reeeeaalllllyyy. I miss my poor little moggy in Singapore, despite updating his Facebook regularly, its not quite the same. Especially his views on meat eating, its quite disturbing.

Take, take, take!

2009-05-22T06:10:00.000-07:00

I must also recommend you all listen, or download for free at Triple J, Dappled Cities 'The Price'. Its absolutely fantastic and after having it stuck in my head for the entire duration of a maths test, I can say it still is appealing. Thats a big thing right? Its a bit like a happier, boppier Editors, perhaps? See what you think.

Count air! Count wind!

2009-05-22T05:32:00.000-07:00

Its a sad day when you're wondering, 'why is it so foggy' then after ten minutes you realise its your hot breath in the cold air. I realise I keep whining about how cold its been but it has been. Simply. That is all.

It's been a very good week, I would like to wish a very Happy Birthday to my grandmother!

'What the hell is the girl thinking?'

So carrot cake in hand I ventured out with warm birthday wishes. The present I bought for my dear grandmother was one of them movable hands (you know the ones artists use? Like the bodies but not? Is this helping in any manner?). I intended to give it to her with the phrase, 'I thought I'd give you a hand', oh my! Stop that cunning humor! Unfortunately, or perhaps luckily, my joke went unnoticed. This was due to the fact that as soon as my gran, dear gran, opened the present she molded the hand into giving the finger. With this she gestured it around the room, scrunching her nose and baring her teeth, shouting, 'next time them charity people come...I'll show them', more gesturing ensues. Hopefully she liked it. I'm not entirely sure, though. I was slightly shocked to say the least.

Soon my mother turned up and three generations of women sat there and talked over many different topics including the Irish ('they're everywhere!' Who needs to worry about China taking over, its them Irish!' 'but that's alright, we like that Keating bloke don't we'), Y Gen ('Oh what lovely people they are...(my grandmother. Hence, rude gesturing perhaps?)), gingers ('2 percent of the world, did you know that? They're a dying breed!') and dogs ('it proceeded to multi-colour crap all over my lawn'). I know, what classy, intellectual people we are.

So heres a photo thing, I think this is March. But yes.

Have a good weekend. I will be getting significantly lost in the enormity that is Adelaide. Well, the lost part is true.

I just finished a supposed tourist article with, 'if your moral values need a boost, visit the Notre Dame de Paris'. What was I thinking?

She's Jamie's Mum!

2009-05-16T04:05:00.000-07:00

Apparently right now I am supporting an 'Apres Ski' look due to my newly acquired jumper. Yet, unlike my fellow fashionstas (?), I am not laughing around a fire place with a cuppa hot cocoa. Smiling painfully, 'my! Clarissa! How funny you are! Har. Har. Har'. Instead I am drinking cold Irish Breakfast, mainly because I forgot about it, but I'm pretty sure its from today, pretty sure, and listening to my mothers 'The Bill' addiction.

Its raining nearly every day now, its rather nice really. I can't say I've done much today! And I had so many plans! Where does all my time go! I found myself researching pictures of hermit crabs. Pointless, useless things. But heres quite a stunning picture of a hermit crab:

And its football. Not soccer. What is this? (Should I be watching Eurovision right now?)

And discussing the ethics of Gamera. Who would win between King Kong and Gamera. I think Gamera has something to say about this :

Extreme.

I would like to think I actually did things. Days go so fast really. A teacher apparently stated that we are only 'six haircuts away from Year 12 exams'. Well, knowing how I have haircuts every seven year, I think I'm doing quite well in terms of preparing. The rate I'm going it'll be...a long time till my Year 12 exams. I don't plan to do Maths in Year 12, I just thought I'd make that clear.

But I did find this gem today, it combines two of the best things in modern society, Kate Bush and ukuleles, its 'The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain':

Rather liking The Joy Formidable too.

Well, I am off now. I was thinking of watching Eurovision, as a first or something. I am a Eurovision virgin and am unsure if this is good or not. For one, it produced ABBA, but gave a win to Celine Dion in 1988 for representing Sweden, or Switzerland one of them 'sw' places. Isn't she from Canada (or Canadia as my brother keeps insisting) I can't think of any other arguments.

Have a good weekend, hopefully fulfilling goals as such.

Is it just me or gingers some how becoming trendy? Not the mutation that we are supposedly. Check this out, Blaine Harrison contemplating the world of Alternative music. I don't know if this is trendy but it sure is damned cool. I don't think Topper Head was a ginger. The pondering continues with not much thought.

What would I do with something valuable?

2009-05-09T02:59:00.000-07:00

Firstly I would like to wish the rather excellently odd Kelly a rather belated Happy Birthday!!

Recently I was bought a book called 100 Great Irish Jokes, to which the following joke was published:
Kelly (Kelly as in man Kelly, as in not this Kelly. Yes.) was having trouble telling his two horses apart until one day he realised the white horse was two hands taller than the black horse.

Took me quite awhile to figure out but ey! Happy Birthday Kelly! Hope the world of 16 is treating you well.

As for me, yesterday I saw the very beautiful 'L'heure d'ete '(Summer Hours) which I thought was fantastic documentation of life, if not a little slow for the most. I mean theres not this happy ending, it doesn't really end but life doesn't basically. Its like Once, no strict ending, just the thought of whats to come. I enjoyed it greatly and thought the art featured in the film was beautiful and the ending, especially the accompanying track was very moving. I highly recommend it, especially for the house keeper, Eloise! She steals the show for me!

And today (I do honestly do things, like work, but films are so great, I just try and fit as many as I can in. Its that whole idea of being immersed in someone elses life, its like facebook but actually cultured), I saw 'Let The Right One In'. The movie, filmed in Stockholm, was utterly disturbing. Which may have been the point, I guess Not necessarily the whole vampire, blood, 'heads will roll' (and they do, indeed, they do), that was disturbing, but not in the same sense as the psychology behind it and all the hidden, unsaid things. There are points in the film where your gripping your seat, or the poor person next to you, making high pitched whining noises. Its very, very scary, yet some how remaining innocent, there's such an innocence to the children in the film despite the very adult situations that surround them. I don't quite know what to think of it. I do suggest seeing it, though. Perhaps I shall form a judgment after I have stopped looking over my shoulder and clutching my throat, and looking in trees. Which shall hopefully be soon. Stunning cinematography though, a photograph in every frame and Eli's eyes were enormous, she did look supernatural in some sense or another.
Rather looking forward to the release of ' The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus', the last film starring Heath Ledger. The following movie still depicts the very beautiful Lily Cole in a very pretty wig. Shes a ginger by the way. I wonder if she gets abused on the street.

To explain, one day, in the not too distant past, walking down the street at 9 in the morning I noticed a skin head, in full gear, Docs, tartan shirt, rolled up jeans and braces following me. Thinking it to just be coincidence I turned into Myers to be greeted by his lovely comment of 'you belong in a zoo'. To which I laughed. Stupidly. Or maybe bravely. Yes, I think I will accept that. Its a serious issue. People need to know. Gingers are people too.

Listening to 'Left for Dead' by Mum Smokes at the moment which is a bit of jittery rock with eerie undertones, quite cool. Also, check out 'Streamers' by Umpire, both of which are available for free download on the triple j website. Possibly one of my favorite songs of this month is 'Le Marin' by Babet, good stuff.

Have a good weekend.

Monday is with Marten

2009-05-04T05:03:00.000-07:00

As the cold kicks in, I spend most of my days in thick, wolly socks and insisting on numerous cups of chai (thank you Georgia for introducing me to my finest addiction. Drugs? Booze? Nah, chai, tanks!) and dragging out the old Doc Martens. I must seem rather hypocritical, being vegetarian but I bought them in year six honest! It is reasoned by endless taunts of clown music and 'Big Foot', so truly, I did and sadly, yes, I love them.

Last Friday night I went and saw Dylan Moran, in the flesh (whoops feeling a bit dizzy here, hmm) it was amazing! Despite all the live DVD's and endless watching of him to an almost stalkerish level, it was just as funny. As my friend said, 'you weren't the lady who couldn't control her laughter were you?', yes, I probably was. Moran seems to have social commentary down to a fine art with all comments and jokes some how feeling as if they relate to your life in some shape or form. 'The great thing about children is they talk you through silent treatment', goodness! Although I am left with the feeling that after bagging out Perth, stating it to be, basically, a hole that this will continue to Sydney, with Perth being replaced by Adelaide. But, oh well! Alls well that ends well and rababdaba, and as the argument proved today, despite my arguments, Adelaide is a hole. But its my hole. So its okay.

I don't really have much news or anything besides that. Maybe it is a hole! Goodness! Been busy thinking I'm working, well, not really. The last thing I completed was a supposed picture of my idol, which didn't work so instead I turned him into an astronaut saying 'I will eat your babies', I shall upload this later.Extrememly productive here, I tell you.

I haven't been listening to much 'new' music of late and have been rediscovering the joys of my CD collection (seriously, how amazing is Pulp?). I was very excited to hear that Leader Cheetah were from the Adelaide Hills, but thats about it. Actually, my main listening experience is 'My Lovely Horse' from Father Ted. Dear old Father Ted.

Have a good night!

(99 Days Obama!)- Sydney Trip

2009-04-28T02:28:00.000-07:00

Well I am finally in my own, if not slightly messy, home. And despite having a fantastic time in Sydney over the past week, it feels good to be home. Its a tad cold but with a nice cuppa tea, a bad tourist jumper (Prague: Czech me out!) and a Thrills CD, its bearable on a very lovely level.

Sydney was amazing! I shall forever be thankful to the awesomeness that is Georgia B, whose laugh is truly contagious. With her ever hilarious guidance, I managed the Glebe markets, Manly Beach, the Opera House, the 'Coathanger', a dog show, the Archibald Prize and Contemporary Art. Thank you Georgia!

Prepare for a rather large amount of photos

Walking the 'Coathanger'. Har, har, har.

Mini association of NSW

SHOCK HORROR, DOG SHOW PICK UPS! Its all go at the Easter Show. On this same day

Sea gull chasing outside of the Opera House.

Thank you very kindly to the nice Germans! We are sorry for Georgia impressions of you later.

Attempt at straitening the fuzz of my hair. Half straight half curly, very in. Honestly.

Search for best falafel wrap ever continues at Glebe markets.

THANK YOU KN1!

There is my holiday, now imagine if I actually wrote that out, no one would read it! Well, no one read this stuff anyway, but hopefully one day such readers will exist. I shall try to disguise this post as a sourcing for my friends to get photos. That is what it is indeed.

Why is noble not spelt 'knoble?'

2009-04-04T04:55:00.000-07:00

I know I have already posted today, but this conversation, or statement more like, I heard on the bus keeps lurking in the back of my head. I think I stored it there for future reference but keep forgetting of which way I was going to reference it.

'No, don't say that again Rebecca. Don't talk like that. No, do you know what that's called? That's bitchin, girls.'

As said by the mother of Rebecca. I think they were 'bitchin' about the way a girl constantly boasted about herself, in a very careful manner mind you ('Do you...sometimes find that she always mentions her..um, awards?'. How very odd for a bunch of ten year old girls.).

This completely and utterly brightened my day.

You can make it, if your try

2009-04-03T20:37:00.000-07:00

'm a bit restless. I should be working, really, I actually need to, but I can't sit still as I have amazing music pumping through extremely bad speakers:

Firstly,
Fanfarlo
There seems to be a lot of music out there that just warms you up, some how in one way or another, like Fleet Foxes or Arcade Fire. Fanfarlo is London based, which seems to be it really. London just produces all this music, all this noise that just seems to be excellent. Then you wonder whats wrong with your city. Aren't we meant to be the creative, festival state? Fanfarlos music is beautiful layers of sound, with strong beats and soaring sounds. Really worth a look, I rather love "I'm a Pilot" and they toured with Snow Patrol...kind of what I was getting at.

We must eat the same cereal. That R2D2 was firmly wedged on my pencil for the greater part of Year 5. Heck, I was a cool cat.

Maximo Park have just released their first video from their new album, 'Quicken the Heart'. The song takes a while to settle, but its a catchy tune and Paul Smith is a brilliant show man. 'The Kids are Sick Again'. Hope to hear the rest of the record soon.

White Lies are another band breaking into the scene (gigs with fellow new comer Florence and the Machine) from London (snap). They're reminiscent of Joy Division/ New Order and Echo and the Bunnymen, and rather a bit depressing too, song simply named 'Death'.'Death' is very 80's to me, oddly reminding me of the Cars 'You're Just What I Needed', so I guess not too depressing. The music is infused with electro and beautiful lyrics. Especially obvious in 'Unfinished Business' I do suggest you check them out. In the sense...mush!

The Lowly Knights, another band who toured with Snow Patrol (its a bit of a theme this month. I feel a bit numb really, its all over! And I have this desperate sense of wanting to go to Ireland, North or South. Just to do something. This music makes it a bit better really.). The music is truly inspirational and sounds like something they should play and the end of an indie, heart warming movie. Perhaps the protagonist looking out the window of a train as she, because of course, a female, leaves her home town...something like that.

My latest news includes a certain New Zealand duo. The other day whilst tuning into the excellent Triple J, the song 'Inner City Pressure came on'. I thought, Pet Shop Boys, immediately. Then I thought, "shit, what is wrong with their lyrics?". Honestly it was not until Jermaine entered (and even then I was still under the impression that Pet Shop Boys were hard up for cash) that I sort of understood. I felt like a complete twat. Check out the song here, very, very funny. I look forward to their new season.

I just finished reading "The Gathering" by Helen Enright and I thoroughly suggest you should read it. The book touches on many taboo subjects in a thoughtful, touching way, a sense of care.

I am looking very much forward to going to the cinemas to see 'Let the Right One In' (the anti-Twilight apparently) and 'The Boat that Rocked', because we all love a bit of Bill Nighy.

Plus! My mother just presented me with a Pretenders record, Brass in Pocket, Police- Zenyatta Mondatta and Bangles- Different Light. All I really need now is a record player. I hear thats kind of essential.

Feet to Feet

2009-04-03T01:25:00.000-07:00

It was no joke. Despite Snow Patrol playing on April Fools ('some blokes gonna walk out and say "OH TOUGH LUCK GUYS! THEY'RE NOT COMING"' as foretold by my brother) they produced an absolutely amazing concert!

Jenny Lewis was the support and she was absolutely infectious with rather a lot of sexual energy, gasp! Shock! Lewis' voice took over the entire venue, seemingly with no effort. Plus the drummer is female so that's an immediate positive for me!

She moved from sweet, continually thanking the audience and dedicating 'Melt Your Heart' to all the girls , to this possessed human, haunting almost, especially depicted in 'The Next Messiah'. That song ever so slightly scared me, as did 'Jack Killed Mum'. Jenny Lewis and her band delivered even though the audience was not exactly excellent. I'm not used to people talking through sets, so to have around ten conversations going on at once during a song, was a bit shocking. Who cares about your stupid friend, shut up! 'Melt Your Heart' practically killed me, especially during the lyrics "its like a Valentine from your mother', Lewis surely touched a few souls that night. 'Carpetbagger' by Jenny Lewis was named one of the top 20 songs of 2008 by Word Magazine, featuring Elvis Costello on the album- Wow! As Lightbody later advised "if you could all buy Jenny Lewis' new album (Acid Tongue) that would be fantastic!".

Snow Patrol entered around twenty minutes later to a predictable Adelaide technological default. Yet, the band continued to produce the beautiful"If There's A Rocket Tie, It to Me' from their new album 'A Hundred Million Suns' (which you should all buy) before launching into 'Chocolate' from 'Final Straw'.

Lightbody proceeded to fight against the Adelaide security and their combat boots (ready for some heavy work chaps!) by standing on the speaker which was labeled simply "no" during 'Hands Open'. To which the entire "security team" had to come and press against the speaker to hold it in place, and run around following Lightbody as he jumped from speaker to speaker. Just, before singing "Adelaide bursts to light", confusing the sing-a-longs in a rather exceptional way.

The set list included:

If Theres a Rocket Tie it to Me
Chocolate
Hands Open
Spitting Games
How to be Dead
Golden Floor
You Could be Happy
Run
Shut your Eyes
Chasing Cars
Crack the Shutters
Take Back the City
Open your Eyes

Encore

What if this Storm ends?
You're all I have

(I was kind of hoping that suddenly BOOM! Jenny Lewis would pop out and together a Lewis Lighbody combination of "Set the Fire to the Third Bar" would occur right before my eyes! But sadly, no. I formatted such configurations in my head for later use.)

Lightbody later informed and apologised for coming down with a flu, that he was perhaps not performing to his all (which may explain a few missing songs from the set list). I did not notice this at all until towards the end where he seemed slightly in pain. The poor guy. Despite this, Lightbody continued casual banter with the audience, joking and dedicating his songs to various causes, from "Pablo and his sunburn", to "glow stick girls" to a rather off handed "peace". One hilarious incident was when asked the entire audience to sing a long to "Shut Your Eyes". "I'm just asking you for singing! Not, not even kissing! Not that you want that, I've got a flu, besides that would not be right", his smile lighting up the stage alone. It made it very apparent that they're just sort of normal people, however cliched that sounds.

The band has amazing dynamics, as so particularly obvious during "What if this Storm Ends?" which was truly magical. The drumming from Quinn really brought the piece together and the lyrics ('sets you up against, the planets last dance') seemed even more powerful than from the record.

Although, this could just be me, captured in the atmosphere and such. Nick Hornby described in "The Complete Polysyllabic Spree" the feeling of a live concert, the feeling of being energized and itchy after, which is true. I didn't want to do anything, I just wanted to sit and bask in the concerts glory.

The thing that truly made my night was when the band members, Paul Wilson (I don't quite understand the 'Pablo'), Tom Simpson and Gary Lightbody whilst driving past jumped out of their mini-van and patiently signed autographs. Lightbody did not look too well but still stood for numerous photographs, even with the hysterical 40 year old women (and I thought I was bad, I was not crying, wetting myself and giggling over the thought of knowing where Lightbody was staying for the night). I managed to snatch an autograph or two and a few photos, sadly not with Simpson, who jumped back in the van before I managed to manoeuvre my way around the crowd. I don’t know any band who would really do that after a nearly two hour set.

Paul Wilson, my hair later got caught in his arm bands. This was particularly embarrassing.

Its rather shoddy quality, as I didn't bring my camera and relied on my phone. Unfortunately, Gary Lightbody has his eyes closed, but he did for the greater part of the concert. I guess its rather fitting then. My friend suggested photoshopping eyes onto his face, but I think that would be rather creepy and obsessive.

So, an enormous thank you to the Snow Patrol, Jenny Lewis, the girl who directed me to where the band comes out, the lovely women who took my photographs, Leah, who sent me amazing photographs from the concert and the security guards who removed the mad Spanish lady from my back when she was practically mauling –or humping- me. Thank you!

The other day I was lucky enough to attend the opening preview for Adelaide of 'Mary and Max' the first full length feature film by Adam Elliot, of 'Harvie Krumpet' fame. After, Elliot and producer Melanie Coombs attended a question and answer session in which Elliot described his style ('Chunky and Wonky') and influences, plus a few fascinating stories too! The movie is beautifully narrated by Barry Humphries, with Phillip Seymour Hoffman voicing Max and Toni Collette, Mary. I suggest that you should see it as soon as possible! It provokes memories, laughter and tears, something the whole family can enjoy.

Have an excellent, magnificent weekend.

Mary and Max:

You're the top!

2009-03-28T00:07:00.000-07:00

So now the Fringe is closed! But all is well just the city is less buzzing, buzzing as in drunk, stoned youths, can sometimes be a good thing. (I went to a doughnut stall to have the nice young man laugh continuosly, murmuring "ohh mannnn, theres a tree in the doughnut stand! Look. At. It. Ohhh mannn....". Ah, what young, interesting things they are.)

Yesterday I went and saw "Easy Virtue", which starts Kris Marshall hilariously as the butler, his face! Aw! The music, the style, the hair, the dancing, my! Am I inspired!

Today I must completely thank my friend Michelle for taking me to a beautiful fair today at her old school. It was utterly fantastic!! With food, families,oh! And scones:

THANK YOU MICHELLE!

Plus, also, for shouting me a turn in the petting zoo. Despite the fact I was the only person above the age of seven, it was extreme fun! Who needs bumper cars when you have goats? I had a strange fixation with wanting to pick up the pig but it wouldn't budge so I ended up chasing a duck around( Que Benny Hill music) before settling on some nice, defenseless rabbits and chickens.

Also, found some wonderful, little cheap finds at the stalls. I remember the fairs my school used to hold, with old grandmothers selling painted material cats and kites being the main attraction. This fair had a full on massive slide, Titanic bouncy castles and dodgem cars! Not that I'm complaining about the hand made goodness and grannies of my old school, its just amazing how these fairs have developed. Or maybe my school was just cheap, who knows?

Plus I picked up a rather nice vintage bag for fifty cents:

Its the middle bag, sorry for the shoddy quality. The other two were also bargains for two dollars. Apparently a carpet bag? Prompting "Mary Poppins" quotes- "pull out a lamp!".

Here are some other of my op-shops finds over the past few weeks:

I was so happy for the middle belt, three dollars compared to the mass produced twenty dollars ones. I'm pretty cheap as a general rule.

The last scarf, with the tapes, I just wanted one and the man gave me about fifteen for a dollar! And a bum bag! Bargain!

A hat my brother has lent me, from thinkgeek.com. Its rather fitting, ha ha ha. Geddit? I need to stop with the puns. (Dogs walked on a leash, do they get lead poisoning? Oh ha ha ha)

My father bought me this neon green coat and I absolutely love it! I've been called Bogan, Kermit among other things whilst wearing it but I can't quite resit it. This photo doesn't exactly do it justice.

I have worn this dress before, its rather and old find but its my favorite dress and I've never shown it before so I thought I'd just give it the recognition it deserves!

And lastly, possibly the best find, worn by my father in the 80's, found in the back of our shed (perhaps for a good reason) the lovely double sunglasses! They're just glass lenses so I shall probably find myself wearing them without knowing it, my eyes urging for there sweet embrace. HA!

Now, I'm off to EARTH HOUR! TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS!

I bet your fine ass!

2009-03-20T04:44:00.000-07:00

Oh, glory in a 500g container.

Apparently no one knows this quote. I should probably stop using it in general conversation then.

"Is your donkey fine?"
"I bet your fine ass!"
"Dammit!"

So! I have internet! Oh the holy thing it is! I thought I had gone cold turkey, over it, but not really, I am mainly possessing it at the moment to ogle at Jarvis Cocker dancing. This is of use in some manner that I shall think of. Later.

I shall give a attempt at a brief description in five points of my two months so far in Adelaide.

1. First day of orientation. Found myself sitting with one person in a row of twenty six (yes, I counted, to prove such theories, the theory of peoples relativity to me) with no one siting near us. This only changed when a few of the hat wearing people sat on the other side next to my friend. My brother said it was because I smelt. I proceeded to scream that I didn't smell, I just didn't fit the stereotypical view of the modern female... blah blah blah. He simply called me "smelly butt". I shouted. He threw an acorn at me. I dodged. Found myself on the floor after nose diving into a door.

2. Attended that of a zine fair! A "zine" you ask? Its a self publication (yes not "Zion", I was not going to a Zion convention as others thought) full of illustrations, comics, perspectives, basically anything. It was in this dingy little sort of basement next to The Crazy Horse and felt rather underground. Bought some magical little gems, a sock monkey badge, "ZOMBIE VIDEO", a massive colour-it-in maze poster, books on feminism, the vegan shopper guide (did you know musk is the abdomen of a deer? "Why, what is that smell, are you wearing abdomen of deer?" "Why yes! ""How lovely!", who wants that?) and a few other zines. Everyone was dressed rather alternatively, holding black marker pens and discussing mix tapes. It was all a bit radical, well, not really. I later attended group discussions on international students in Adelaide, a graffiti exhibition and world music (plus live facebook: a.k.a: would you like pie with that?) in the same place.

3. Watched "The Reader" alone. Felt like a seedy man in the back row. Some scenes wouldn't go amiss in a Bill Henson exhibition quite rightly, but gosh! It was so fantastic! Besides the lady next to me sniffing loudly before exclaiming "ohhhh! NOOOO! I see what SHE'S DOIN'!" in the most crucial scene. I mean, the most crucial scene, the most emotional, the most devastating scene, and this was practically after the director told us! What is wrong with you woman?! Plus, the movies from the International film festival were all excellent, "Stella" was absolutely heart-breakingly beautiful- "I'm afraid of everything"- slightly tainted when nearing towards the end, the lady behind me said, "that's practically my childhood minus, like, the French and France thing, and like, the cafe thing and like yeah...". So, like...the whole basis of the, like, film then? "A film with me in it" caused the whole audience to laugh, giving me a new quote "don't go all vegetarian on me, now". Plus, "Kisses":

4. Found myself exclaiming in front of a rather large percentage of the school population that I was a furry Star Wars character:

(Common area, students gathered. Blonde things sitting around, congregation of students waiting for class)
M: If I'm yoda, what are you?
C: I'm wooki! (followed by angry bear moves, clawing the air, mouth open, demented face) ROWWARRRRRR!

(Common room all staring at demented ginger who just declared herself to be wooki. Respect lost, failure.)

This could have been a result of my further readings into the Science of Star Wars, a book I picked up for close to five cents. To quote " there are a lost of evidence knowing from the structure of their feet and backbones to prove Wookis lived in trees". I kid you not.)

5. Had a cosy little St Patrick's day in leprechaun chic and a warm, creamy glass a Baileys! Hope you had a good one too!

Whats that? Fofo! No way!

2009-02-25T19:58:00.000-08:00

Clive the Cat- art lesson

Due to the failed attempts at this thing called technology in Adelaide I still don't have internet. Besides snatched times on the school network. Will soon though, hopefully, hopefully, hopefully

Tomorrow I am seeing two movies for the Adelaide Film Festival, last week I saw the independent Irish film, "Kisses", which was rather sad but beautifully filmed, ranging between gray scale and colour with a surprise guest.It was one of those tender little stories where you hope everything will turn out for the best but you kind of know, it won't? Tomorrow I am seeing "Stella" and the Dylan Moran spectacular, spectacular, hopefully anyway, "A film with me in it".

Last week I also went to this stunningly intimate little concert, David Bride (From My Friend the Chocolate Cake and Not Drowning, Waving) at the Fringe. It was about 100 people all gathered in the Spiegl tent. Bridie and ban joked with the audience and it all felt very natural, calm yet still an amazing concert. When Bridie talks he has this little, tiny voice, perhaps with a hint of a lisp and then when he sings this large, booming, almost forceful, beautiful sound comes out! From no where! Just hits you! His piano playing is toned down yet so effective and the use of sampling in the mix is cleverly blended to produce this effective, large sound. A truly fantastic concert.

Plus! Snow Patrol are coming to Adelaide! Usually we are ruled out and put in the same category as Darwin and Hobart, but not this time! They're supported by Jenny Lewis so I am so excited I almost had a hernia when I read the email and felt like crying tears of joy at the ticket counter. Most people think they're wussy, mainstream, blah blah, yeah, well you suck! Take that deniers of the talent!

David Bowie-Manga..ded

Jier

2009-01-24T20:57:00.000-08:00

Well, finally access to internet, my mother said I was suffering from withdrawal symptoms but I feel perfectly happy, maybe because I am on the internet but I'm in a library with people behind. I am kind of self conscious, especially about my spelling errors. I can't seem to be able to spell anything! Nevermind, so, I am finally in Adelaide. Guess what? Its really beautiful, hot, but at least the sun is shining and the airs clean and I have done some lovely shopping and picnics. The other day I went to my local op shop (I have one! Can you believe it?!) and picked up a lovely, olive skirt, rainbow straw bag and a waist belt for six dollars in total, so I'll post those pictures later.

Yesterday was fantastic went down to Wilunga to see the fifth leg of the tour down under with my my pop culture genius friend Hannah. Picked up some raspberry soap, a vintage badge and vegan puffs. They have all these lovely markets here and its so lovely and..country? Although I feel as if, especially when the band musics playing, that someone is bound to be murdered. but this isn't Midsomer, so hopefully not. But it is Adelaide, weird murder Captial of the world (thank you Dexter), so theres a chance.

Today down to my local market and bought a cactus. So I looked a bit like a twat carrying this cactus around the stalls as I bought it first but now I can start my collection again.

Its a long post and sorry I have no photos, but once I get my internet then I'll over load my limit.

Have a fantastic day! x

one step ahead

2009-01-18T21:36:00.000-08:00

Leaving tomorrow morning. Slightly stressed. No easy access to Internet and where the heck is my calculator?

Yes, I Mean Gates

2009-01-15T02:36:00.000-08:00

I have around five days left till the big move! Still sorting through my things, hence the drawings, scanned in case I lose them. I have so many things, its because I collect everything, I mean everything. I have collections of glass bottles to records to cacti to post cards, which was probably the hardest thing to pack up as I had arranged them so perfectly on my wall. But there we go, packed in a box to be opened later with great joy. I have over 300 different post cards that I've sourced from art exhibitions, war museums, French vintage shops, tourist shops and the all easy free stands (which are so utterly wonderful I take about five of each, who else will take them? They just get thrown out in the end).

I really must stop hoarding, its getting almost like an illness, who needs a collection of 70's polyester ties? I don't even try the Avril look.

Yesterday, I watched "The Grinch", which was the first movie I saw when I came to Singapore. We saw it as a family in some dingy old cinema where you'd be usually the only person there besides the creepy old guy in the back picking his toe nails that also seemingly was the cleaner. Watching the film now (its our Christmas film, no we don't watch, Miracle on Em Street or whatever, I think I got that title completely wrong, we watch "The Grinch") I never realised how risqué it actually is, it indicates towards wife swapping, gayness and among other things the Grinch yells at one point, "the powder is bitchin'". Not that I'm complaining, as a young naive girl I had no idea, but now my youth has sort of worn off, sadly and things are less magical. Yet, the film is still, with my new found understanding, good. And that dog should get some kind of award, "Max" was awesome.

Looking forward to getting this over with and being all packed and oragnised. Also, the hope of seeing Neil Finn at Womadelaide! Heres some more drawings.

Lastly, a list of recent outboxes, which may explain why people barely sms me.

"Its slum not flum"

"If only, if only, I would sell my kidney for that"

"Calm yourself, you may get over excited and spasm"

"I plan to eat their avocados"

"Could you imagine a pool of liver?"

"Why doctor it sure is bigger on the inside"

"The we must burn him"

"Her gaiagaiagag thats who"

"But what about Mason?!"

"Aw at least you will be the blonde abba member and not the red head"

"Nothing just everyone gates each other and yes, I mean gates"

Now theres an insight into my life. Have a good one. xx

Undercover Lover

2009-01-13T06:34:00.000-08:00

The Mystery Jets (Jan 11th) concert was amazing! I'm kicking myself I didn't stay later when Blaine came out to DJ, but I'm not really a smoke machine/electro dancer, but still, it was fantastic! Well worth the hushed calls in school toliet cubicles trying to confirm tickets.

The group came out around nine in matching glittery get up looking rather spectacular and very different from their previous "hippy" like image. The group played an amazing set with new hits, like "Half in Love with Elizabeth", "Two Doors Down" and "Young Love" ("Flakes" was some what magical for me, how corny is that? But honestly, Blaine Harrisons voice is magical) plus old favorites like "Alas Agnes", "The Boy Who Ran Away" and "Diamonds in the Dark" to come back with an encore of "Can't Fool Me Dennis", with Henry Harrison singing in the back, that was really sweet.

My favorite part was probably, well theres a toss up between in "Alas Agnes" when an audience member beat them in the start to the "it all ended up in tears" and the band all smiled or the Dennis sing-a-long, which was the song I was hooked on back in 2006, scrawled on my school diary and phone and people thought I had some secret lover. I finally felt like one of them "true" fans.

Plus! In "Behind the Bunhouse", Daleks featured in the backing video, what else can rate cool?

Photo by E. Cooper (that makes it professional, innit?)

The Dog Days are Over

2009-01-09T09:32:00.000-08:00

I have some amazing "tunes" to share.

Start with something amazing. The lovely "Florence and the Machine", a sort of edgier, rockier version of Kate Nash, you may have heard "Kiss with a Fist", the angry love/hate relationship song where she looks like an indie-kid Alice in Wonderland . But the best is "Dogs Days are over", although the video kind of echoes MGMT's LSD trip/ face painting idea, its really, simply cool. Florence's voice is a bellow, a force. It does make you want to get up and shout, creating a stomp, twirl, and what can do that?

And here's a recommendation from the same place that offers videos of Jarvis Cocker talking about Star Wars, so it must be exceptionally reliable, The Rumble Strips. They're a bit like the bands that are hitting the radio a lot now, thick accents, shouting and a tad eccentric, think 1990's and The View. Yet, The Rumble Strips have the added benefit of brass, creating a sort of Madness feel about them. Check out, "Alarm Clock". I could say its like my alarm clock, but I have programmed it to wake me up to the "Latino Beat" option, so in the morning I feel pumped and like dancing.

Here's another treat, Brendan Canning from Broken Social Scene, some how achieving the ultimate cool, without even trying, "Churches Under the Stairs". PAS/CAL recently released their first full length album here's a track, "Summer is Almost Here". The style is like that of me on the beach in summer, because after living here, everything is freezing. This song makes me very happy. And anything that includes men running in animal suits, has to be good, "Tane Mahutta"by The Ruby Suns, a sort of African infused indie-pop.

Plus, 80's is making a come back, first Ladyhawke, then the Mystery Jets (This Sunday! I am there! I could touch them there!) and now La Roux. (not really my thing, but I am painting a picture) Plus Keane's new stuff sounds, especially, "Spiralling" like soon leg warmers all round. And I am not complaining, well, besides my legs looking like they're malformed.

Plus, The Virgins and (Bad video, can't find the official, but look, you can have a sing along!), The Ravonettes (90's anyone?).

2008 was a pretty good year for music, Vampire Weekend, MGMT, Duffy, Ladyhawke, The Last Shadow Puppets, Fleet Foxes and releases from The Killers, Coldplay (the only downfall to this is their new "image", what are they? Before they were your usual, normal guys, like you see on the street, besides the lead naming their kid "Apple", half of the appeal and now they're what? "Freedom fighters"? Bad Spanish movie extras?), Goldfrapp, Snow Patrol, The Verve, Martha Wainwright, Flight of the Conchords, Death Cab for Cutie, Sigur Ros, Mystery Jets and Keane. Thats a pretty amazing line-up, theres a festival right there. And to promote music even further, even queer core, "Nick and Norah's infinite playlist, which was just about the god of teen movies this year, Juno being last years.

The only downfall being that of Miley Cyrus, the evil demon she is.

So 2008 was a great year for music but 2009 is looking pretty good too.

To end, Ida Maria, whose just a tiny bit cool.

"Streuth!" - Australia

2009-01-09T08:12:00.000-08:00

Well, thanks to suggestion I now have an "o", but it takes an awfully long time, and I am basically a very lazy person. That would have been my New Years resolution, to be less lazy, to stop procrastinating, but I changed it. I want to be one of those people who don't put things down and then spend two hours trying to find it again, to then find it hidden inside a lamp because you thought that was a logical place. That might not be a type of a person, that might just be me.

I leave my this dear old country in about, exactly, actually, ten days. Its a tad scary, but I guess it really is just an extended holiday, I'll be back before I know it and avoiding everyone, shamed. But its a big thing! I have spent eight years here! And I am not even crying, or at least feeling like eating fudge, instead I am thinking over what hats I should be wearing (is a beret too much?). Am I completely apathetic?

Maybe not as proven by today's trip to the cinema to see Luhrmann's "Australia" (Which was slightly funny as I smsed stating I was going to Australia and received replies saying they thought I was leaving later and that they were worried thinking I meant the actual country. I thought that was funny. Maybe they didn't. I am a complete bitch, sooner people realise this, the better.). I cried in the movie, maybe in patriotic spirit, maybe wrapped in the intensity of the movie or maybe from sheer embarrassment (but I cried in Ice Age too, so its not much to go by.) The movie was, in a word, fine. Fine is what you say when you're not really fine, but you don't want to let on, as the great man of words, Dylan Moran, would say. But there is no other way to describe it, it was just "fine". It slightly played up to the idea of Australians, despite being a well established Australian director ("Moulin Rouge", "Stricty Ballroom"). I am pretty sure in the 1940's, no one really said "crickey", especially not a prim English woman (Who shockingly embraces the Australian life.). It was a bit predictable, really. On the positive, the movie provoked emotions, had lovely scenery, Diver Dan and some good ol' mateship.

The movie, had this perfect opportunity to simply end, it was happy, looked like the start of some feel-good movie, flowers, laughing children, kissing, near to birds chirping kind of feel good. And it was perfect, I would have left a happy girly.... And then it went into the war and the fight to keep the half-caste child. It made it seem like it was "okay" to steal the Aboriginal children, that the Stolen generation was fine because everyone was so damn happy. That is wasn't really a disgusting deal that lasted until Mr. Whitlam came in the 1970's. The 1970's, that's not even 50 years ago.

But I guess Australia needed a film, besides "Crocodile Dundee" thanks, so that's now done and we can sit back and continue drinking, being filthy and calling each other mate. Because that's what we do.

t0 1337

2009-01-02T20:51:00.000-08:00

The reas0n I have n0t been bl0gging is due t0 the fact my "0h" key isn't w0rking, instead I am using the zer0 key making me seem like a 1337 speaking geek g0d, which, I sadly have n0t yet achieved.

Anyway! H0pe y0u had a g00d Christmas and a g00d year t0 c0me! I started my year trying t0 jump s0me0ne and then watching the Dramatic Chipmunk (which is a prairie d0g! My! F00ls!) 0n repeat. I mean, if h0w y0u spend y0ur new years is h0w y0u spend the rest 0f the year I am d0ing pretty alright as 0pp0sed t0 last year, watching Underw0rld. Th0ugh I enc0untered n0 h0t werew0lves s0, 0bvi0usly, thats a c0mpete myth.

And thanks t0 Jesse f0r my sec0nd bl0gger award!

Have a g00d 0ne.

We mean it

2008-12-23T23:56:00.000-08:00

Potato killer

2008-12-22T00:07:00.000-08:00

From pre-Obama. Don't worry America, you done good.

Three more days till Christmas and my spirits are soaring. Right now I am looking up vegetarian Christmas options. Its looking like a familiar scene from About a Boy mm..nutmeg loaf was it? A member of my family claimed that I had, "ruined Christmas". Yet, I am not forcing my potatoes upon them. I love my potatoes! I still cry over the time I poured mouldy cheese on a perfectly lovely cold potato, meaning I could not eat it. Sadly, I was put in charge for the menu for the all merry day. I put down potatoes, carrot, pumpkin, chicken, ham (my poor father) and mint sauce. This, apparently, does not work. From my experience with mint sauce, I thought it could go with everything, like Kelly Osbourne and her ketchup obsession. So, menu duties have been relocated to someone with a more, diligent? approach to the task. I still think mint sauce goes deliciously with potatoes, people are so closed minded.

Now comes my last minute shopping as I can never do anything on time, blessed as a procrastinator. I have no idea what to buy and have no idea what I want. Thats a first. I keep saying Johnny Depp but no one is taking me seriously.

Invisible Light

2008-12-20T21:45:00.000-08:00

I just received my Mystery Jets tickets, delivered by a nice man in a helmet. So, I guess I can stop the worrying, the threat of crying gone and rejoice with my tiny piece of paper.

Yesterday I went to an artist talk with the wonderful Joey Piziali at the Collectors Contemporary. He gave a wonderful talk, covering all aspects of art, from inspiration, interpretation and his own works from the "Invisible Light" collection.

Piziali is sort of how you expect artists to be, seeing beauty in everything, even the mundane, quirky and very inspirational, yet still very friendly. It was a real treat, amazing, actually, to be able to talk to him and gain insight into the art world. Plus gain a sneaky signature, oops!

So go check out his work at the Collectors Contemporary till the 24th January.

She caught the wrong second of a two-second story.

2008-12-17T22:02:00.000-08:00

I can hear my mother talking downstairs and I kind of hope she is talking to someone on the phone and not just talking to herself. Or the cat. Talking to the cat is slightly more sad than talking to yourself, as the cat cannot comprehend what you're saying, although you may think your cat is some genius and understands every word you say, really its just wondering if by looking at you in an emotional manner may lead to opening a can of Fancy Feast. Yourself on the other hand can understand what you're saying and may be able to reply. In your mind at least.

So Christmas is just around the corner. Love, peace, happiness. I know its there I just can't feel it. Even with the creepy wind up Music Carol Boxes (that make me think that when the key clunks to a stop an axe weilding murderer is going to jump out and slice us all. I explained such to others and they asked me what movies I have been watching. Well, the last was "In Her Shoes", although at times one felt like throttling some characters it was never shown or worked into the script. I believe that if this was to happen, the movie would've been a greater hit, "In Her Shoes: The Role of a Killer", something like that. I would've seen that, it sounds like the shows on the Crime Channel late at night, they're always a big hit in our family. We love our gore!) I am not a very spirited person, I need gold spray paint and acorns to feel as if I have purpose at Christmas, besides that , nothing. Or perhaps forty bucks and an attempt at finding Christmas presents that don't include a subscription to Dungeons and Dragons monthly.

If you want a dose of the excellent, I suggest you watch the English art movie, Cashback. Absoulutely stunning, soundtrack, visuals, acting, mix of comedy with drama, cutting edge stuff. I adored the movie and was utterly inspired to do something, anything, it was amazing! It follows the art student Ben (played by Sean Biggerstaff, you know the one everyone crooned over as Oliver Wood. Well, Woodys changed a whole lot) post break up with his two and half year long girlfriend. Struggling to sleep and suffering from insomnia, Ben trades in his now, extra eight hours to work in Sainsburys, trade in your hours, you get money, cashback. There his imagination and fascination with the female form, runs wild.

Features a lot of nudity, that makes sense in the art world, but would still cause an entire male class room to burst into giggles or mother into saying "pervy boy, such a pervy boy". Yet, I highly recommend this movie on so many levels. It received an Oscar nomination for its beginning as a short film in 2004, that with such positive feedback developed into a feature film. Go now!

Then we come to the other end of the spectra. Twilight. Don't go see this film. You thought the books were bad, the movie is worse, it actually made me disappointed. I set the bar oh, so, so low and I was disappointed. The ads looked reasonably okay, despite her "you're super strong blah blah blah" speech, that is just a complete squirm in your seat in embarrassment moment. Well, the whole movie is like that. Bella never looks happy, no emotion, looks as if she was just kicked and breathing through her mouth, the entire time. Not even when little lost vampire Edward states shes his "heroin". (Kudos to Kirsten Stewart for making Bella some what likable though.)Edward, well, your attempt at acting like Bella smelt, literally stank (har har har PUN!), although chemistry was some what evident, I always felt that Edward was a wide eyed idiot and Bella was a stuck up tosser, so there we go. This interpretation of Bella may be my biased opinion due to reading the book where shes so plain and clumsy and must tell us over and over again, but who cares, this is a rant, dammit. They're meant to be intelligent, this is not obvious, despite Edwards massive music collection, a sure sign of intelligence.

Carlisle and Esme slightly saved the movie but Jasper? What, Stepford? Stick up ass? What happened there? And that cut to allude to Dracula, was that warranted? I felt like hitting my head on the front of my chair. When did "spider-monkey" become a term of endearment? Scenes of them talking, supposedly romantically were truthfully boring making you wonder if they are in fact saying "pink elephant", thank you Oprah. I know its meant to be romantic, the abstinent beauty of true love but c'mon, Bella is a hormonal crazed girl who actually has Edward, like all the fan girls crave for, she wants the sex, end of story. Plus, Edwards supposed "sparkling" was like that of a European in Singapores humidity. Basically, sweaty.

The villains, were boring, not scary in the slightess manner and just proved Bella's stupidity. The end made no real sense besides to Twilighters (oh man, I am a Twilighter) and just showed the angry, ginger walking off all teary eyed in bad fur, hint, hint sequel? Really? I would have never guessed! Despite the continuous writing spirit of Stephanie Meyer to produce not one, not two, but four books of torturous romance that end rather astonishingly terribly. Basically, don't go see this movie.The lady behind me that snorted her phlegm back into her mouth was more interesting.

Time to Pretend

2008-12-13T23:24:00.000-08:00

My 17th year on the planet. Its really amazing when you think about it, how we age and exist and such but then my mind goes all whiz-bang so I won't explain my theories to you.

At 12am on the 12th I was dragged downstairs and drunkenly sang Happy Birthday to. After, I was served cheap champagne which made my throat feel all warm and fizzly and attempted the Soulja Boy dance. Attempted being the operative word. After I went upstairs and danced to some Ska with my failed sense of timing and felt very mature. My sense of maturity differs greatly to everyone elses, it takes "Too Much, Too Young" to feel the year pass over me, creating lines in my forehead.

The next day I played twister, celebrity heads and made chocolate crackles. This made me feel slightly less mature. But still good. Except when I spent the main part of the evening with my ass in the air. This perhaps, was not a good look for me.

I finished the night with my 24th screening of About a Boy, in true birthday spirit.

In other news: The formal (public humiliation night) actually was, fun? Oh! What mess is this? Having fun at a school event? Never! But truth. I actually never got off the dance floor, mainly because that would mean walking in heels which I very nearly failed and toppled over in. The music wasn't my taste (That of the MTV generation), yet I still belted out a version of "Disturbia" knowing the lyrics consisted mainly of the creative genius of Rihannas entire song writing team to come up with "bam bam bi dum bam bam be dum dum".

Later, the night ended in a lovely bit of groping, most definetly not on my part, cheesecake and walking around sitting at bus stops yet not waiting for a bus. Which might sound poetic. But its not.

So, now, Happy Birthday to my mother and after they're dedication of "Little Ray of Sunshine" for me on my Birthday, I dedicate this to you:

In life we're all duffers chum!

2008-12-08T04:30:00.000-08:00

Please, please, please let me get what I want.

Last time a band was sold out (damn you Death Cab For Cutie!) I began crying at the ticket counter. So lets hope for the best ey?

Much love, public humiliation tomorrow and aging rapidly Saturday.

I am David Bowieval

2008-12-05T05:18:00.000-08:00

"Isn't it funny how Hungary is next to Turkey?"
"Em...its not"
"Shut up, its a joke, you ruined it"

TRUDY TRUDY TRUDY

2008-12-05T02:31:00.000-08:00

Its time again, for Cats music rant.
This time I am going to comment on the some what new, English speaking French pop/rock groups and my love for them.

First I will start with the obvious.
Nouvelle Vague (New Wave).
The lovely French band that cover songs from the 80s with Latin/Caribbean infused Jazz/ Pop. The songs covered range from the beautiful "In a Manner of Speaking", smooth, brushes and light yet stunning vocals to the Echo and the Bunnymen's "The Killing Moon", which incorporates bird calls in a non-tacky way, which is a skill in itself. With Nouvelle Vague it is possible to know that they're French due to their accents and, not odd, but different pronunciations of the English language. This differs to the next band:

Neimo
The born cool guys of Neimo, despite their name reminscent of a animated clown fish, are like how rock stars should be. Stylish, assertive, definetly cool and if not a tad arrogant, but thats all the stage. I found this band whilst searching through my work experiences system, hard at work. They don't sound in the slightest French but they look French, which is a very nice thing to look.

Tahiti 80
I originally thoguht this band was English, they just felt English, sounded English and looked like a scruffy lad from Oxford, and then boom! French formed since 1993. Apparently they're very popular in Japan, they're "Big in Japan"..har har har. Basically they're kind of bubble gum pop, but still very cute, I guess thats what bubble gum pop is for. But check out they're latest song. The whole time I worried about the hamster and then at the end! Ah! Adorable!

But now from something slighty different, my favorite French band who actually speak in French, the completely fantastic and fun NAAST. Nobody, I mean nobody, well nobody I know, which means kind of nothing, know them! Unless I have hounded them to listen. They're completely underrated because they're absoulutely amazing! The best song for a good kick and jump around the house is "Tu Te Trompes", the video makes it all look so easy and carefree. I wish I was in a rock band, I mean, I long for it more than anything. This could happen if I didn't have such screwy short fingers though, I can't make the F chord, my genes have stuffed me up. Like my father, who actually has talent and is a drummer, I have drummer hands meaning the instruments I want to play, I can't because nine year olds have fingers longer than my stubs. This is true, as proven today by my Miley Cyrus worshipper friend. I can't mainly blame my so called fingers, I should also blame my laziness and procrastination of about everything, plus the fact that I spend about 90 percent of the time thinking of a band name (Bangers and Mash? No? I think its truly groovy, like the chimps, yeh?) instead of actually getting down and doing anything. I've writtens songs but they're mainly about clowns, which could work, if they're wasn't about 20 of them (borderline obsession). So I could blame that, but that would mean owning up to my faults, not things like my genes and parents so there, its my fingers fault.

Well, before I depart I shall leave you with the movie I am desperate to see showing that music CAN bring you together, perhaps only if you live in a movie but heres hope for us all. Nick and Norahs infinite playlist:

Have a good weekend. Plus this, if you see this you will have the best weekend ever.

My weekly photoshop fix

2008-12-04T04:58:00.000-08:00

After the Bill Henson ordeal, we made images protesting about freedom in art.
Ta dah!

Images from art this year, in the unit, defining yourself, this is "me" according to me.

My basis for the print, I love photoshop:

Just check out my lycra pants

2008-12-04T04:01:00.001-08:00

My school dance is drawing in. I guess its not just a dance, a dance is casual, easy going and shit music. The only thing that will be in this so called "dance" is the latter. That, I'm counting on.

So I finally gave in. After a worthy fight, shouts, pleas, begging on knees, I am going to my school formal. It slightly sickens me, but I'm leaving, so its kind of my last thing as a friend. Can I say that? Could I say this is a service to my friends? Is that a worthy excuse? No, there are no excuses, I have given in, surrendered. At this point, I would be called French.

Unfortunately, above all things I could possibly be worried about, I am worried about the dancing. This, as I have stated before, is because I cannot dance. After ten years of formal dance lessons, I possess no skills, no grace (I fell up stairs last week. That should not even be possible.) and no apparent ability in moving "ma body". I have attempted to practice dancing naturally. I stand in front of a mirror, click my fingers, sway and sort of stamp, whilst attempting the "provocative" hair flick. I look stupid, I feel stupid and the only thing I would be "provocative" to is a wilderbeast, and even then I'd be second pick. So thats not working.

Hoping that with the good, electro tinted music (I can't take full electro and I know that my dance will be chocked/tainted/choked with it, so I better slowly ease myself into it) of Ladyhawke (tis "Dusk till Dawn", shes one of those people who were born cool) the mood might take me and I would be the next John Travolta circa Saturday Night Fever. Whilst strutting my so called "stuff" I noticed that through a gap in the window, my neighbor was watching me. I don't think she was impressed as I hoped for. Soon things will be scrawled over my mailbox, "you suck, you ginge, my grandmudda dance better dan you". Maybe not with the bad spelling/grammar, but I am compensating for gangsta speech. So then I'll reply with "your mum" in yellow spray paint across her car, because, in todays world, theres no need for witty repertoire, "your mum" seems to solve everything.

I think I'll just stand there and sway, pretending that I'm cool, indie, apathetic person, not that I can't dance for anything. Maybe, like some sort of cliche music based 80s movie, the music will take me. I'll start convulsing, unable to control myself, moving amazingly, hitting the beats, twisting, wiggling, being utter ace. A crowd will form around me, cheering, clapping, mouths on the floor. Then before I leave, everyone will be able to say my name and say my name with pride, "shes the chick who can mooooove, shes got da groove" before carrying me out on their shoulders.

That won't happen. Maybe I could pay someone to do it.

The magical, green cat

2008-12-02T06:05:00.000-08:00

Haven't blogged in a while. I think I've developed this thing called "a life". Perhaps, maybe I'm just still lazy.

Last week was work experience, which was strangely highly insightful. I shall give you a brief run through:

Day One: Given desk. Desk had bottle of honey tucked behind the computer, I thought not to question, just to stare continuously and think of the many possibilities of its use. Briefing on company and orientation. Told that I would not be a slave and be told to make coffee. This sucked due to the fact I practisced making coffee for this. Tried to remember everyones names after giving my "firm handshake" that I worked on.Everyone had names like George and Fred, I failed and just nodded some what convincingly (most likely not convincing, more like nodding head and backing away slowly)Edited video on Cambodian monkeys. Discovered the wonders of free milo.

Day Two: Met more people, shook more hands. Created a diagram to remember names. Felt pathetic in doing so and chucked it out. Sneezed continuously but felt embarrassed to blow nose so kept sniffing. Realised this was annoying so kept tissue on nose. Realised this looked unprofessional. Went to bathroom and blew nose. Was sent home with a nice "I think you should go home". Left but not before pressing the free milo button a few times. Anarchy!

Day Three: Given breifing on everything about photojournalism. Made a cup of tea yet burnt lips thus having no feeling in them for the rest of the day. Researched photos taken in Adelaide, statement "no results were found". Went out for dinner with friends. Felt all professional asking "how was work?"

Day Four: Went on photography trip to a golf press conference. Was meant to photograph famous golfers in front of their scoreboards. Instead photographed a fly attached to a maggot on the green grass. These were later presented to my minder, perhaps more interesting than the press conference. "You have a broken arm. How does this affect you?" "mmmm...Let me ponder on this extremely obvious question"

Day Five: Mumbai attack. Enormous story. People shouting at screens. Stressed out of their mind. More cigarette breaks than usual (everyone smokes. I mean everyone.) Scared out of my mind. Read every story on anything to do with current events/trends/news on the internet to keep out of the way. Said my goodbyes. Went out with friends. Fell asleep at dinner table due to my raging partying ways. Woo!

I decided that I have ages to decide my life. I am interested in so many things and I know this is cliche and as they say, once you have to make money you change you'll change your mind but here it goes, "I'm not in it for the money". My plans in year seven consisted of nothing but a badly drawn picture of a magical cat with an arrow pointing to it, "green" it said. I can't remember if I was taking the piss, angry due to the school insisting "think of you're future speech" of if I was serious. I really, really hope I wasn't serious.

And now brings on Christmas. I should've said this earlier. Christmas decorations were put up on November 1st. Like that of an About a Boy re-run (I'm up to 26- its not obsession its just a really, really good movie) I claimed "November the 1st. November the fucking 1st!". Halloweens over and Christmas rolls in, its not holidays its just marketing. After all, as my friend stated yesterday:

"Christmas is about getting presents and a little bit about Jesus".

Now I'm not particularly religious but what is wrong with the world? I blame coca-cola and its creation of the overweight, bearded man in the red suit wearing fur lining who sneaks into our house, steals our food and has young children sitting on its lap, leaving gifts to woo young boys and girls alike. In normal terms, this man would be an eccentric weirdo, prosecuted for a number of violations against the law. Instead we praise him, encourage kids to contact him and make films about him. Its all rather sick and I am thankful that due to my older brother, dear old Santa Claus didn't exist for very long.

I guess its just because we're the consumer culture, nothing else matters. Yet perhaps life could turn out to be a Hallmark movie were we rejoice in the spirit of giving with shiny white teeth and hidden religious undertones. I'd probably hate that too but at least I'd feel some what holy.

Although, getting in the true Christmas spirit I lugged at two metre pine tree home on the public bus the other day. Usually we get out this old crappy plastic thing that after 7 years has begun to disintegrate and has lost most of its branches. On the spur of the moment, seeing these trees we bought one. So now this beautiful tree sits staring back at me and I feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Its nice.

Sometimes I think about nothing

2008-11-25T04:04:00.000-08:00

I love this website. It is utterly amazing and sums up a lot of my views on everything, especially movies (New Bond?). Plus I like this song, its Justin Heazlewood, my favorite Tasmanian.

I would blog more but I am in work experience period (not now, I am not that unprofessional) which is very, as I said "insighting ...INSIGHTFUL!! Thats what I meant to say..yep" to a colleague. Hey! First impressions count but not forever..and ever. Its pretty fun, editing videos, writing scripts and offers endless supply of bananas and milo, so heck, I'm convinced.

Now I am going to nap.

Not before my mother told me my favorite top doesn't suit me. At all. You know, after I've worn it, adored it and practically framed and bolted it to my wall, it "doesn't suit" me. Now that my friends are all becoming lawyers (I know, what is this? I despise lawyers and they're all my friends. I would say this is leading somewhere but that is a mean and cruel thing to say) I reckon I could sue for violation.

Have a good one

I wish I was a reaper

2008-11-20T06:30:00.000-08:00

"I'm so smart, I'm practically retarded"- Mason

Possibly one of my favorite scenes. This amazing bloke also created the lovely Wonderfalls and Pushing Daisies, and of course-ly, Dead Like Me. Thank you Bryan Fuller for rooting for the freaks.

Tomorrow we have a mufti-day. But oh no, can't just be a normal mufti-day they have to give it a theme to boost the supposed fun. The theme is Rubik Cube. Yes, our dress code is that of a crappy toy created for the soul purpose to annoy you. We must dress in all one colour. For fun. Heck I am excited.

I would blog. But I'm too lazy, have a good weekend.

The primative survived. I can too.

2008-11-19T06:30:00.000-08:00

A play set in normal house. Daughter enters. Picks up sports top. Notices red pattern on top-jumps to conclusion:

"Whys there tomato sauce on my top?"

Mother replies:
(Parent humor, sound as if caring) "I don't know, why is there tomato sauce on your top?"

"I shouldn't have to wash this. I didn't put the tomato sauce there. How did that even get there?"
"No idea"

Examining top whilst walking to laundry. Stops:

"Oh, I think its pollen"
(Parent humor)"Well, theres quite a difference. Tomato sauce, pollen"
"Meh. Alright". Proceeding to place it in bag for tomorrow.
"Aren't you going to wash that?"
Daughter shake head.

(Pleading) "Make an effort?"
"Meh."
(Over sarcastic) "Oh! What a terrible mother I am! Telling you to make an effort! How terrible am I? Telling her to wash her clothing!"

Father response: "This house would be a better place"

Daughter, undefeated:
"Meh. Damn straight. Fascists"

As mother continues to rant over "terrible mother she is".

Scene ends.

It did definitely look like tomato sauce.

This whole sarcastic terrible mother thin stems from when I woke up. Put on dirty clothing. My mother proceeded to shout at me and I left slamming the door. I was justified, the clothing had aired overnight and thanks to the invention of liquid spray (environment safe), everything smells goooooood.

The next day we had another fight and I said I was upset because she picked on my appearance and she stated that smell was not an appearance and telling her daughter to wear clothing that was clean was not something people usually protest against.

I still think I was correct. She told me to wash the pollen shirt, but I'm pretty sure I can rub it off. Plus its on the inside, wear it inside out, everything still appears clean. I would say that applies to underwear too but thats only what brothers and camp instructors do.

Only married men wear hats

2008-11-19T01:36:00.000-08:00

"What nasty remark did Cat just say about me?"
"I am a nice person"

Probably not the best statement to say to a teacher. Before that I was fake crying by salivating on my fingers and jamming them into my eyes to then make wailing noises into my elbow. I guess I wasn't quite in the right state of mind, but apparently I am good at fake sobbing. So it all works out okay. The teacher already thinks I'm off my head, so it doesn't really matter.

In other news, I have decided to buy a beetle. By buying a beetle when I pass people in the street they are forced to punch each other and shout the colour of my car (I'm thinking pistachio or "Italian racing green", ha..ha..ha Jack Dee). Therefore I am promoting violence. Every little bit helps.

Plus, I have attempted to darken my eyebrows. For reasons unknown (although shouting "HECK! I'M ROSE TYLER!" may be an indicator of some factors), blondes have more fun but apparently blondes with dark eyebrows have the most fun. I am a ginger in denial, but now I have dark eyebrows so I should be having more fun. I don't feel any different or feel any sense of "having more fun", my eyebrows have failed me. This is like when they say, "dye your hair! You'll feel fantastic! And different!". Notice how female magazines seem to think changing your appearance will some how make you come out of whatever depression you're feeling. Why, your completely out of your job? "Dye your hair! You'll feel fantastic!" They always add little exclamation marks at the end too, for added "happiness" and "excitement" for middle aged women . Those little exclamation marks are the downfall of the female kind.

When I dyed my hair red, I did not feel fantastic. Instead my hair stayed the colour I dyed it, as if punishment. Now I must endure constant insults about my gingerness; comparisons to orangutans really boost your self esteem, I tell you.

So anyway, I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself and my eyebrows are doing nothing to improve my low mood. I think I might go listen to some Pulp and defer the meaning within Freud boundaries. You'll feel fantastic!

The gift for the gab

2008-11-18T03:01:00.000-08:00

In an attempt to be creative for my English piece and Photographic piece, cause, gosh, I need it, I am wearing my "thinking cap", a scrungy old, rainbow beanie that was bits of tinsel knitted in. My, I feel cool.

But! I am extremely pleased to say that I have recieved a blog award from the fantastic Jesse, who has also got very good taste in music.

Unfortunately, I barely have any blogger friends, so I would simply say go check out all the blogs I follow, especially Hannahs "Mild Mild West", because Hannah is by far pretty damn awesome, plus she has fantastic taste in practically everything. Yet, I knew Hannah before the wonders of blog, so does that count? My, my, questions, questions in this technology based world we live in.

I shall leave you with the lovely Martha Wainwright, whose beautiful lyrics mark the ending of my English piece, I am pretty sure that her powerful voice inspired me but there is a hinting feeling my rainbow beanie could have helped.

I was a 1950's film star

2008-11-15T04:52:00.000-08:00

My photography piece for last terms work, inspired by Sam Taylor-Wood and Cindy Sherman. Extremely fun and meant I was able to use all my op-shop/vintage treasures. It was a long, long process having to set the camera up, take the shot and make sure my father/cat/fathers own little touches (random teddy bears added into the picture) weren't shown and my whole body was but still, I think, well worth it.

Weird Kid Adelaide Returns

2008-11-14T07:50:00.000-08:00

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles

From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.

Only in the SA of A, also known as Radelaide or simply, Adelaide.

Check it out fully here.

I guess its better than bashing a poor 78 year old flamingo up, poor thing.

Well Heck, I'm Open

2008-11-14T07:05:00.000-08:00

Jarvis Cocker, my cabbie,I wish.

"but he's like killing people "

I could deal with that. Its better than the particularly odd cab drivers who ask where my boyfriend is and if I just finished my shift because I'm wearing black tights. Every time I wear black tights I get some old creep trying to pick me up, my grandmother calls it the "Benny Hill effect". My best pick up yet includes the old uncle (Singaporean slang for man older than you) at the Thieves market, in baggy shorts, singlet top and missing teeth asking my mother about my boyfriend, before saying "ahh..I give you half price!" and giving me a little wink on the side.

Besides that I get the types who, despite there being around 50 other spare seats, feel it necessary to make me move my bag and sit next to me. This really pisses me off. I know I'm doing a bad thing putting my bag there, I hate when other people do it, so I'm a hypocrite, but when I've just finished a day of school, inclusion of a compulsory 4 kilometer run for "fun", a yoga class that involved the "badly stretched pretzel" and a lesson of general maths because Mr Wise guy thought I wasn't into maths, more into art so why "strain" myself? Well, sorry, but I can calculate the average of 10/5 even if I like art, fascists. A lesson of general maths: "Hey, so, if you see a French girl and an English girl, but you don't know the French girl is French, who would you do?"- dead serious, this is the class I am in. I can feel my brain cells calling out, wailing before dying in a slow, pitiful death.

Basically, my point is at the end of a crappy day, I don't want some outstandingly odd character sitting next to me, who grunts and twitches at regular two minute intervals, who for me to get out, gets his free little lap dance as he refuses to move. That just shits me off. I will keep my bag there and you will deal with it or feel my mighty wrath of "thats not very nice".

If this continues to fail I will simply stop washing and my natural smell will repel them.

"You haven't washed anything, what is this?"
"I feel no need"
"Can't you make an effort?"
"Nope, don't care"
"I've given up, the make up, the brushing of hair, everything"

Its not that I have low self esteem, I just have low self esteem for everyone else.

Your broken records and words

2008-11-13T04:07:00.000-08:00

Some may diss the workings of the lovely Snow Patrol but I suggest you all buy their latest cd, A Hundred Million Suns, although I may be slightly biased (whats that? "ZAAAA!! SNOW PATROL!"), it is fantastic, I don't know if they could follow up Eyes Open, the album that gave them most of their fame for "Chasing Cars", besides "Run" from Final Straw; my favorite, slightly darker, "Spitting Games". Plus, being number one on the UK album charts indicates that yes, Keane are back in the game post-rehab Chaplin, looking and sounding fantastic, I love the little stomp when the keyboard is being played, that just tingles me down the spine.

And so begins Cats weekly rant on music.

My playlist is as follows:

Start Wearing Purple- Gogol Bordello
In the video, just before it really kicks off, he does this sort of push on himself and falls backwards, I have to calm myself I am so excited.

Ghosts- The Jam
I wish I was as cool as Paul Weller, sheesh. If I was, I could do anything.

Inbetweener- Sleeper
Its a comedy but I love it, like "Parklife" by Blur, hilarious Englishness plus a bit of "oy! That bloke in Eastenders, innit?".

Take Back This City- Snow Patrol
Apparently, Fintan update: this song is about Belfast. Most likely as they are from Northern Ireland, but they're last two albums were all about Lightbody's infidelity so thats a change, a nice one though.

15 Feet of Pure White Snow- Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
For Mo-vember the art teacher is getting this full on Nick Cave Grinderman (current period- "Pussy Love") tash. Its fantastic, not quite a Gogol Bordello or Dali mustache, if so I would be donating all my earnings plus extra if they did a push and fall down, but still.

Acrobat- Maximo Park
I did an art piece where I had to listen to this song on repeat, 500 times over and over and I'm still not sick of it. Gosh, the lyrics make me sob like someone watching Lassie for the first time and then I can full throttle the dance moves to any of their other songs, karate chops arms like Paul Smith.

I Don't Know What I Can Save You From- Kings of Convenience
I love my European pop, like "She's an Apple Pie" by Kissogram.

And there you go. I have taken the advice of Dolly (hosh! cosh!) and am bleaching my elbows with lemons. Did you know avocados were a fruit. I did not. You learn something every day, thank you Caroline. :)

Japanese Baby

2008-11-11T23:07:00.000-08:00

And packed with my knickers, in a suitcase

2008-11-11T05:37:00.000-08:00

Down, down, down the rabbit hole

2008-11-11T05:33:00.000-08:00

book is a book, an artwork is an artwork

My art piece from year 8, coinciding with my Alice in Wonderland obsession

This is my angry face

2008-11-11T03:12:00.000-08:00

I wrote these ages ago when I was in my angry phase and rather geeky, the former is hidden but I'm pretty sure the latter is still rather obvious. This was ages ago, most likely my goth period? Whats that? Doc Martens and Robert Smith pasted on your locker, angry face and crosses drawn on your wrists with biro? No, not my girl!

Anyway, onwards!

Us" being the "good girls" we are loaded with a bunch of girls we have nothing in common with to show around in our break. Usually by break these girls have already ditched us for the girls who can't spell DNA. Our record was losing a buddy in 10 minutes. Seriously, that is pretty amazing. That girl now asks in science class questions like the following:

(Doing reproduction in class)

"Miss, if you have sperm on your hand and you, like, touch yourself, can you get pregnant?"

"Miss, if you're in a pool and a guy, like, ejaculates, can you, like get pregnant?"

Yes, that is the highest science class and yes, she is intelligent, and no, I don't want to know what shes doing with her year 12 boyfriend. This is wet t-shirt girl, by the way.

My experience wasn't as bad, my buddy was "stuck" with me for around 30 minutes and in that time i realised we weren't going to get along. She had someone stuck her face in what looked like a strawberry iced cake, applied large Christmas decorations to her ears and talked like she was on speed (later my friend and i were in a group with her when she asked to borrow a "pin", for about 10 minutes this banter went on about "why would you want a pin?" "no a pin" "why would i have a pin" "no a PIN" "I DON'T HAVE A PIN" till my innocent friend broke it by saying, "i think she wants a pen", we still go on about this, what joy does it bring). She soon ditched us and marched around the school with this girl who ditched us last year to be "cool" "popular" and not too intelligent. As our ex-drama teacher said "pretty thick". There not even that pretty (this may be from the perspective of a bunch of bitchy girls, snarling and clawing) but we can relate most of them to a bunch of animals; horses, ducks, pigs, you name it, we've got it. They strutted around for about a week till they separated as one got a bit cooler than another and her skirt got a bit higher, an indicator of the social status at our school.

So that girl ditched us last year for those popular girls, something she aimed for all year and quite happily told us:

(We were sitting at "our table" and shes standing peering at those popular girls and guys eating her rice, yes, just rice because of this amazing diet she formulated, to eat nothing,to say:)

Girl- I wish i could still hang out with you guys but you're not really popular enough. Like, so, yeh.

We stared at her for about 10 minutes, she left and it was said "good riddance" well, not, we really said "yeh, bugger off, you cow". Or at least, said it in our head. She later got drunk, fell into a ditch and had herself broadcasted on web cam giving a hand job. Our good, good friend. Before that she used to go around kissing my other friends on the cheek thinking it turned guys on when Dolly posed the question "are guys really turned on by lesbians?" to then say it wasn't cool to do such things or blah blah blah, but she probably hadn't read the rest with the attention of a knat.

Now Dolly, Dolly is the bible to all typical teenage Australian girls. It tells all the important things that matter to a typical teenage girl - style tips to look good (for boys), make up to look "hot" (for boys), how to talk properly (to boys), life (boys), sex (with boys), relationships (with boys), how to meet new people (mainly boys), first day back to school (how to chat up the new boy) and most importantly boys. Yes, these "Dolly" girls have their priorities straight.

Girl one- So you do French?
Girl two- Ya.
Girl one- So, say something.
Girl two- Oh..e..j'mappelle (Enter name here, this is just because, because, because)
Girl one- Meaning? (Well, if shes going to put her name there, what do you think?)
Girl two- My name is (here) but really they call me (here)
Girl one- J'mappelle (here)
Girl two- Meaning my name is (here)
Girl one- No! They call me (here), get it right douchebag!

Who says that. What warrants that, I'm not a being a prune, but it just sounds stupid doesn't it? I don't think these girl even know what a douchebag is. Douche meaning to wash, or really to shower in French, not too bad, just a wash bag, but the purpose is the insult. In the olden days these bags would be shoved up a woman to wash her insides for sanitary reasons. Do you think that girl two would like to be called a bag shoved up females. I think not. I wonder if those guys who say it to one another as a sort of endearment term know what it means. Probably not, if i tell them, which i am often tempted to, they would probably say it more..or less, depending on how much they love their friends.

More conversations:

Girl one- And i was like, "what are you, like, doing?". And this guy was, like, really hot. And he was like, "you need your passes", and i was like...

Today like seems to be used in whatever manner that teenager wishes. A noun, verb, adjective, anything really. After spending around 10 minutes with an over uses of the word "like" you start to find yourself saying "like", like, all the time and you, like, can't control it. Yet is also the rate that they say it, think Vicki Pollard, with a lisp, like this girl, mm...hardly not the most aurally pleasing conversation in the world is it? Also, don't just think its girls who say that. There are a lot of guys i know that use the word "like" as if its a bingo word, sickening really.

Girl one- And this guy ask, are you, like 16? And I'm like, no! I'm only 14, peoples.

Another very, very annoying part of teen speak today. Shes talking to one person. What? Did suddenly a whole groups surround her to hear her say the wise words of "No! I'm only 14 peoples"?. If not, then whose these "peoples"? I had this one friend, and i excuse her as English being her second language, that would address you under any circumstance as "peoples". You'd be sitting by yourself reading a book to hear, "hey, peoples", or on msn, a one to one conversation, "hey ppls". Is there a mob of people behind me? Peering over my msn conversations? How did she know? That's the only way in which this "peoples" comment could make sense. Also, "peoples" is completely incorrect to grammar, "people" is already the plural, but hey! Lets just add the s for fun and..awesomeness.

Another conversation witnessed was one about how "thin" some people were. A common conversation in the female language, like guys to....bra size? Well, same context really. But here:

Girl one- He is so skinny! (Notice its a he?)
Girl two- But he eats heaps! Like, where does it all go?
Girl one- He's probably one of these people who, like, always go to the toilet to shit it all out.

Deadly serious. Now, don't mock my girl stereotype language but i think i have the right to utter the word, ew. Who says that? WHO? Do you think that guy would appreciate being known as the boy who "shits it all out". That's normal anyway, but what? Who has to say that?

Another thing with teenagers is jokes. Now, we all have those silly little inside jokes that crack us up every time..stupid things that from the outside world looking in makes us look like retards or people with epilepsy depending on what type of joke it is (we have one in particular which is quite rightly called the "Irish bot dance", think robot dance arms mixed with an Irish jig. Yep, not that funny and its sort of worn away on me now, but at the time, it was hilarious. We even wrote it in this book called "How to be cool..a.k.a awesome". Which a lot of people read and didn't really understand. Because..it was full of inside jokes, my point exactly, most of them taking the mick out of the people who read it, but they didn't know that because they think they're too cool..gone off topic now.) But teenagers can be quite funny people, you know and funny people to make fun of, but here was a joke i heard:

Girl one- (Talking about getting ready in the morning) Yeah, i usually dress before having breakfast because coming to school in clothing is sort of essential.

Now that's funny, i even uttered a snort myself. Despite how extremely boring the topic was, (Who cares about your daily routines, this isn't a Indonesian lesson you know.) But that was funny, till it was taken to far.

Girl one- Oh yeah (laughing to herself..). I'll just come in my pajamas..(laughing again to herself)

Gone too far, sorry love. I guess i sometimes do that, but we could've visioned that our self. I'm no Dylan Moran, so i don't know the art of telling jokes (i recently found out my one friend has this fake laugh...truly. Its used when i use intelligent jokes or reference something she doesn't know. My other friend laughs all the time and does the VERY cliche thing of then asking..what does that mean?) But i believe that it was taken too far. But i was still funny, I'll give her that, my kind soul.

Well, that about all i can recall. No one more thing. I had to do this presentation, and the teacher commented on how beautiful this picture of my grandma looked, then said "Oh, can't you see the resemblance?", the class, "no", so what were they implying, rude little twots. Oh well, some say my grandmother looked like Margaret Thatcher, which she doesn't, but the people who say these aren't exactly singing "Stand down Thatcher" more like "Bring Thatcher back". So maybe they see it as a compliment rather than something that would cause my grandmother to hurl her handbag at them and tackle them to the ground.

The N's in Neans.

2008-11-11T02:10:00.000-08:00

Finally the exams, the ones that haunt you all year that you in fact pay for and parents don't tell you until the last minute that you in fact did not have to do them if they didn't pay, ("Wait..you paid for these?" "yes." "YOU PAID FOR THIS TORTURE??!!! FACIST! FACIST!") are finally completed. After two days of stress, cramming, Satie and Vivaldi, my exams and practically year, is over. Well not entirely, theres still the computing exam but thats basically a joke, for example:

Susan is looking at her inbox, how many emails has she received?
a) 4
b) 0
c) 8
d) dubfkshbdhvdfakhakshbc

Hint: its not d

Whenever I do an exam I always have this little tune playing in the back on my head, as I said before my life always has a soundtrack yet when you are trying to answer the equation of half pie multiplied by 4.5 without a calculator,"Remember You're a Womble" is not quite fitting, despite it being a truly fantastic song. Other soundtracks include "Rollercoaster" by that Irish Spice Girl rip off band, B*witched and "Excitable Boy" by Warren Zevon, the man that can make homicide and building cages out of prom dates bones, sound good plus groovy, lastly the "aaaaWOOOOOO" part of "Werewolves of London" because thats the only part I know. I ended up tapping my way through most of the maths exam and howling for the last ten minutes of History/ Geography, not generally helpful in answering land management questions as I often end up writing what I'm humming. "With non-government organisations like dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones".

The problem with History is that when I write about feminist rights I become rather, in a word, angry or perhaps more, defencive, due to my grandmothers influence of "be a feminist! Getting married sucks!" (taking advice from someone who told you that "Puff the Magic Dragon was part of our heritage", if so, this may explain a few things). I am also an avid Whitlam supporter, for reasons beyond me ("Whitlam, you had me at "Its Time"") and often feel its necessary to mention my commitment to the former and sacked Prime Minister no matter the question. Thus, my extended answer read like a campaign for feminism and bringing back Whitlam. Good stuff. I then attempted to sleep but became to self conscious, this was after I ripped my answer sheet nearly in half, pursuing the instruction to separate the pages. If this is any indicator, as it is meant to be, of my Year 12 exams then I am stuffed.

Creamy, green goodness

2008-11-07T06:09:00.001-08:00

"If you want to go to Wales, you can't laugh every time a Welsh person talks or comes on television"

"I can't help it! They're so funny!"

I shall explain, after a night of recounting my childhood plays (Fiddler on the Roof and Honk! once I participated in school functions, those days are long gone.) I came home to find Midsomer Murders on the tele, Midsomer being the place where despite each episode having about four people die, the town can keep on functioning and having their spring fairs. But whats this? Perhaps the population had dropped to an all time low and inspector Barnaby had to leave (due to the fact murder seems to follow him, not the other way around) and visit Wales to plague them with his misfortune and more murders to occur.

Cue the Welsh man. Rugged, unshaven, with a stick, a farm and a small cottage and of course, a Welsh accent. Causing me to burst out laughing, I couldn't help it, especially after watching episodes of "My Family" with the strange array of Welsh in that. Yet, my mother gave me a foul look and said the following. The reason behind my want to go to Wales is due to the poet Dylan Thomas, of which I am named after his wife, (Caitlin Macnamara/Thomas). My mother heard her name on the radio about 6 years before I was born and that was my name. Unfortunately her name is spelt Caitlin, so everyone just assumed she heard wrong, but! Oh mightily! The new movie "The Edge of Love" proves otherwise. Tracking the life of the two women in Dylan Thomas' life, Caitlin is featured and look! "Queen of Ireland, love of my life, Catlin Thomas!".

Unfortunately they all sort of play around, and Caitlin is most likely quite the opposite of me, but perhaps I shall model myself upon my model.

In the end the Welsh man, named "Brim", the oddest of the bunch and the most Welsh was the murderer. I guess thats how it works though, Americans always have evil English opposites and the English, if they can't have the evil Irish opposites, throw in a Welsh person and you're off.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking? I think I am Kn2

2008-11-06T05:11:00.000-08:00

But shes so old, eurgh, be gone!

AND LEGAL!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CUPCAKE GIRL

I shall recite the song I wrote for you when I attempted to appropriate "Skeleton Song" , failing yet still happy:

Georgia you are my friend, but you are so tall
And even though you ate my hair, we still ate cake
And I should've known, that it wouldn't be long
Until you, you've got me standing in an awkward position
Waiting at the airport,
And its not like I'm letting go of you
But I don't know what to do..ooo

I can't remember the song I wrote for you but it was along those lines.

When one is not angry, simply lazy, fret not.

2008-11-06T05:03:00.000-08:00

Shes so pretty, Mean Miss Mustard Kelly :)

Inspirational speeches fail on me

2008-11-06T02:50:00.001-08:00

I am not "getting on board", I'm jumping off ship.

And we want them now!

2008-11-02T02:34:00.000-08:00

Every once in a while you meet those really cultured people, big hot shots, sipping their South American wine, analysing artworks in their flash, lime green lensed glasses, discussing in depth movies with odd, foreign titles or the latest works of some unheard of author, wearing hand painted shoes from Brazil and hair in a top knot bun with chopsticks, indicating their "multiculturalism", or maybe these are just the people I meet.

These people are not your friends. They are out to compete with you and will snidely talk about things they know you have no clue about. I cannot help you know the difference between the works of Pierre Auguste Renoir or Tracey Emin, although I hope the comparison would be obvious or if that is in fact David Sedaris' sister but I can help you amp your movie knowledge to a competitive level.

The Top Four Movies that are bearable, that make you seem like you're cultured, when perhaps, you're not.

1. Le Fabuleux destin d'Amelie Poulain

The movie that launched the career of the lovely Audrey Tatou, brought French movies back into the mainstream and is the basic headliner for indie or foreign movie fans everywhere. Basically, Amelie is an eccentric young woman living in Montmarte who wants to help her fellow humans around her and along the way falls in love. This will put you straight away into the "cultured" books especially if you quote (my favorite is "its better to help people than garden gnomes", although this proves very hard to work into conversation casually, don't just blurt it out, that'll make you seem either a) utterly eccentric and therefore praised as a god or b) desperate and in need of respect as you can repeat the property of someone else) or if the person is one of those tight lipped ladies who look as if the only time they'd open their mouth would to suck out your soul state how dearly you loved Tatou's later work "A la folie, pas du tout" (Use French, makes you seem more intelligent and "artsy" and if they look confused say, "oh, of course, silly me *chuckle* "He loves me, he loves me not""), not many people know this work and would instantly give you the upper hand, the upper hand to slap her face.

2. Everything is Illuminated

Barely anyone knows this film, its Eljah Woods outbreak from the hairy footed days of Frodo Baggins. Woods plays a Jewish American whose grandfather fled to America from the Ukraine during the Second World War. Woods is a collector of objects and plans to find the village that his grandfather used to live in through simply its name and a photograph containing the image of a woman. To get there Woods travels with the English speaking interpreter and his like of Michael Jackson, his "blind" grandfather and his "Officious Seeing Eye Bitch" (my nickname around the house, thank you Judi). The movie is hilarious but worthy of tears as well, this is the kind of movie that will harvest millions of conversations about meaning and such and will most definitely make you seem like you have "depth". To make you seem extremely cultured plug the fact that Eugene Hutz if from the gypsy/punk band Gogol Boredello, known for their hilarious lyrics and odd stage antics and dancers, plus their fantastic tight, bright pants.

3. Annie Hall

Woody Allen is nearly always playing himself, its the neurotic Jewish guy. This movie is based upon the relationship that was actually occurring at that time of filming between Diane Keaton and Woody Allen, so basically, its autobiographical. Imagine how stuffed up that relationship would be. This movie makes you seem cultured and accepting of Woody Allen, even if you're not. My, that Woody Allen raised himself one good wife. Perhaps, cracking this joke will help, I suggest you do, tip their Australian red wine on their white, puffy shirts and glittery, barely there dresses, shake your fist in their face and walk off, to hell with their approval! You have standards.

4. Withnail and I

I recently devoured this movie whole again and it still amuses me to fits of tears and embarrasses me to run into the other room to "get a glass of milk". The movie follows the journey of "I" and Withnail, two out of work actors in1969. Realising that the 60's are about to end the two decide to spend a holiday in Withnails Uncles cottage in the country, putting a strain upon their relationship and sanity. Richard E. Grant is impeccable as Withnail and despite the hatred you should feel for him, you still love him (Hannah- cin cin!). Believing Withnail to be with more talent than "I", but due to his eccentricity and lack of empathy he will remain unemployed. This is something you can bring up in conversation, argue your point and use your hands in vibrant, expressive ways like they cast people to do in movies when their at art galleries, making you seem cultured.

Now you can take on the world.

Actually, I meant three

2008-11-01T07:52:00.000-07:00

How long does it take the fishermen to load the crabs? (In hours)

2008-11-01T05:55:00.000-07:00

Fishmongers have mutant abilities, it takes them not hours but seconds to load 200 fish. -I hate maths, the teacher is a ginger abuser, all except for moments like this:

"Why would I even be walking in the great wilderness?"

"Because you're trying to get to Adelaide"

For you're as blind as a man can be

2008-11-01T03:45:00.001-07:00

I love this photo, its that "mood" thing, yeah?

Plus, Manic Street Preachers on November the 24th, fingers crossed but hopefully "Your Love Alone is Not Enough" will be playing sweetly to my ears. The only problem is when your music taste greatly resembles that of a forty year old it often means your parents want in on the act.

Panic at the Disco killed The Nightmare Before Christmas.

2008-11-01T02:48:00.000-07:00

When I was thirteen my brother introduced me to the world of Foamy, this influenced a lot of my behavior at that age, which is why even now Daphne still tells me I was scary and she didn't want to approach me. Anyway, Foamy is back with a well deserved rant:

Anyway, hope you had a good Halloween, I was bombarded with disgusting covers of Tim Burtons almighty Nightmare Before Christmas, case in point Panic at The Disco's "This is Halloween", Fiona Apple, great, Marilyn Manson, has its place but Panic at The Disco? Thats murder, disgusting, foul and painful. My Halloween finished with going to my third party of the night (I can't believe I can actually say that), being hugged by Dorothy and commented upon with "so you're cat...whose a cat" (to a "lol") before tucking into a karaoke version of "How Soon is Now" and an avocado. All in all, a pretty good night.

"More Water"- Winning an argument with the workings of Father Ted and the Cats bottom.

2008-10-30T06:14:00.000-07:00

The internet hates me. Seriously, it does, any technology hates me especially the internet and these things called computers, complicated stuff I tell you.

So my dad thought he'd be the clever man and get the internet up and running. Instead the whole thing failed due to the fact hes a plonker with technology, like me, but thinks hes not, leaving me muttering under my breath and banging on the keyboard, my usual technique for getting things working (case in point: broken USB port with the insides completely torn apart. To the point of in fact crashing the computer when inserted, beeping profusely and generally looking like the end of the world, the computer that now sits beside me unused, still broken four months later) . He then smugly stated that "well, my internet is working" and came into my room to work his magic hands.

I screamed "I've got my internet".

To which he said "ohhh to be sure, to be sure, the wee lass has got her internet"

This is a recurring occurrence, since living here my accent has gone off the rails. I say "yeah" at nearly the end of every sentence, or statement, or question or practically anything. I say "tortoise" like a Welsh person after repeating it constantly after watching "Mine all Mine" when he smuggles in tortoises. And sometimes my accent just goes odd, this could be because of imitating accents on shows after people say stuff, anything, like my Eastenders period which was painfully horrific ("innit, though?") or miming Audrey Hepburn in Funny Face, a rather nice comparison to Stacey.

So my father runs out of the room shouting "to be sure, to be sure, ohhhh the lass she got her internet, aiiiyy the wee lass" and something to do with potatoes as I hit and, screamed and called him "with plague".

As my father jigged out of the room he repeated his "wee lass" routine until he got down the end and cackled with my mother over my funny accent. Hearing this I shouted "my friend said no one says "to be sure, to be sure" in Ireland!" sounding distinctly like my former five year old self.

My mother replied with "I'm pretty sure they do on Father Ted".

Well, I guess the accent is better than my father winning every argument by pretending to be the cat. Speaking as the cat, even as my cat sits there licking his ass or is asleep. The cats voice a high pitched version of his own produced from the corner of his half closed mouth, in fact, rather obviously open, his attempt at ventriloquism. Never the less, he still wins arguments by talking from the cats arse and even has conversations with him stating "Scratchy is the only intelligent life around this place", "including yourself?". "Yep", "well, thats about right".

"Shake it like a polaroid picture"- doing so in fact harms your print

2008-10-29T04:21:00.000-07:00

You're no flower anymore

2008-10-29T04:00:00.000-07:00

My Friend the Chocolate Cake.

Clowns

2008-10-28T05:40:00.000-07:00

Inspired by Alison Goldfrapp, who never, ever ages.

This intrigued me to no end

2008-10-26T02:40:00.000-07:00

Get your Skag and lets go.

2008-10-25T21:20:00.000-07:00

"Oh you want to start a book club with her?"

I love, love, love this movie, even if its a whole bunch of lies manufactured to help "indifferent" girls like me.

I will have the last laugh when I have achieved night vision.

2008-10-25T20:32:00.000-07:00

Questions I have encountered on being Vegetarian:

"You don't eat meat?"
"No, no meat"
"Chicken"
"No, nothing from animals."
"Okay, seafood then."
"No, no meat, nothing, just vegetables."
"You want gravy?"
"No. Thanks."
"You no hungry?"

"You're on a deserted island and theres no coconuts, will you eat the animals and fishes around you?"

"Would you eat a person?" ("Yes, I have nothing against cannibalism")

"What if someone tricks you that the chicken they're eating is tofu, would you eat it? And you have no idea that they're eating meat, you think its tofu, would you eat it?"

"If your in a room with your cat and your going to die of starvation would you eat your cat?"

To continue onto from my "no" answer that if I did eat the cat I would still die of starvation, what kind of question is that, "would you eat your cat?":

"Is your cat meaty?"

"Could you get a good meal from your cat?"

"What if you eat your cat and then your let out of the room?" ("What, like Saw?" "Yeh! Exactly!")

"What if theres a nerve gas that if you don't eat your cat you'll die?"

"What if your cat is the anti to the gas, that if you suck its blood then you will live?"

I stated I would suck on my cats arm. Then they all thought I was gross, after that kind of question you're forced into it.

After that, I found this article on the almighty "Slink", which I only go to to read "The Don Juans" views on moths with special powers.

And heres my find:

"There's also the general rule that people will always tease those who are different. Plus the fact that vegetarians are one of the few remaining acceptable targets for discriminatory abuse, along with gingers and the French.

Slink Note: If you are ginger and/or French, on behalf of Kevin, we are sorry."

I am ginger.

Bastards.

10am Automatic Adelaide

2008-10-25T08:24:00.000-07:00

After eight years I finally returned to my home. It always seemed a lot bigger, amazingly enormous but I guess I was amazingly short, so it all makes sense in the end.

I found all this stuff that we hurriedly packed up before we left, stuff I thought was of much value and was greatly needed for my return home. Now I look at it and its honestly a bunch of crap. There used to be this place called the Plaster Fun House, the title makes me laugh now, plaster and fun in the same sentence, but moving on, once we left, my brother and I it shut down. And I can see why, we practically funded the joint. My wardrobe housed about 600 different plaster objects, angry, transvestite looking fairies (my creation) to Fred the Dinosaur (my brothers collection) to mutated, purple horses (my creation). Each item just as badly painted as the next, at the time I thought I was supreme, now it looks like an intoxicated painter has thrown up upon a poorly made plaster kitten hugging a puppy and just for effect added glitter and feathers. It was all a bit upsetting really. Not as upsetting as finding my collection of "IMPORTANT TINGS OF CATLIN". This "secret" box contained a notepad in which I asked myself questions such as "Who are your friends?" (This greatly saddened me) to which I replied Hannah and Courtney. Throughout the "secret" notepad Courtney had drawn and written things. I could not remember who Courtney was, who the heck was Courtney? I asked my mother and still no answer. Then, I came to the memory of having an imaginary squirrel friend (don't mock me, I watched a lot of Farthing woods, or as my brother cleverly created "Farting Woods", I was influenced) called Courtney. Apparently Courtney could draw rabbits, and what seemed better than myself as each page showed a masterpiece signed Courtney and this crappy piece-a-crap next to it signed by: CAtLiN. Courtney owned me and she didn't even exist! (Hannah, I'm not quite sure about this Courtney, who the heck is she? Maybe she is real, maybe she is not, in fact, a squirrel)

The box also contained antenna with hearts on the end, a broken music box with kitschy kittens painted on the top (I remember pulling out the ballet dancer to see if she could dance by herself. She couldn't.), a picture of myself being mauled by Bugs Bunny and a book my father and I created. The book depicted drawings I had created and my fathers story next to it. In one drawing there shows a cat, next to it the caption reads "This is a yellow cat. No one likes the yellow cat because he keeps going around kissing everyone". I'm not quite sure if I or my father came up with this poetic little piece of writing but psychologist would have a field day with that."The patient has problems with intimacy".

The thing was, Adelaide was and is, freezing. Leaving me scrounging around to find things to wear to sleep in when it reached a painful six degrees. Heres what I developed.

I've outdone myself. Thankfully I only slept in this at night (accompanied by a woolen jumper, a sleeping bag, a rug and a quilt). I call it bogan chic yet that would in a sense, be an insult to the many millions of bogans that inhabit Adelaide. Let me explain, there seems to be about four main groups in Adelaide at this stage in time, Bogans, Sikhs, "Men in Suits" and Emos.

Let me put it into perspective. I get on the bus, and of course, being Adelaide you don't need a family reunion, you jsut get on a bus, and go sit next to my uncle, because it jsut so happens he was also on the bus. Once on the bus my uncle and I begin to laugh as three Sikh men are loudly grooving to Bollywood music on their phone. This continues for the entire bus ride that at some points, disgruntled old women tutted to the "bbbbRAANNNNGGGGGGGAAAAA" part comes on, that in a movie, would have the Bollywood hero, gut and moustache flying, wooing his love. Then a couple of emo lads stumbled aboard, unable to locate their seats due to their gelled mop hair, they eventually sat down and talked using "like" as an adjective, noun and adverb. Lastly a girl got on the bus, in what was keyed fashionable by the almighty Supre and Dolly, hipsters, singlet and small jacket with faux fur. Her hair was parted with a side fringe and didn't move, never, never ever, her hair defied the laws of gravity. So this "young thing" sits down and this poor lad, who I thought was a "Man in Suit" starts this conversation with her, obviously extremely keen (note, not "Man in Suit"). The girl talks about how she was pissed Friday and asleep in a gutter after she walked for "like, 6 billion miles", pissed Saturday and tried to drive her car but fell asleep on the steering wheel and pissed Sunday because usually she can't but Monday was a public holiday, ah! So the logic does exist to it, its not just "get pissed". Eventually after explaining her "whirl wind" weekend the guy asks about her course, if not a little to eager to keep the conversation going. "Oh, I'm doing a prac at the hospital tomorrow". She was training to be a nurse. I'm glad my life is in such good hands, that of which stated "so hes all, I'm gonna make out with Tracey cause your a slag, and I'm all like alright, I'm a slag".

I then exited the bus and was painfully stood up but never the less, I'm over it, right after I hunt that person down and hurt them in excruciatingly painful ways, like that of Johnny, the Homicidal Maniac. Then I'll be fine. Instead, I located my way around Adelaide (after sitting for ages with a hobo. I kid you not, a fricking hobo, bloody hell) , which I usually fail to do, unable to locate even the Malls Balls, the obvious mirrored balls that used to attract children now attract drug traders and religious girls with constant creepy smiles on their faces, staring right at you, in some ways scarier than the drug traders who were clean cut, smooth students with nice hair. I found the best record shop in Adelaide, Big Star, thankfully this time I restrained myself and did not pick up every single free catalogue they have lying on the floor. This comes as a result from my last experience where I picked up all catalogues including "Feast". Unknown to me, simply acting upon the pretty heart shape on the cover, I picked it up, not knowing that it was a magazine specifically created for gays or lesbians. Walking up to the counter, where an interesting looking man served me I got the slow smile as I placed my catalogues on the counter to pay. After having it prominently displayed in my bag for the entire day, getting on the bus home I flipped through to wonder why constant transvestites and rainbows were featured, lastly the "gay pride" gave me my answer. I quickly stuffed the suspicious article to the back of my bag, checked around and instead read "Rip it Up". I felt wronged, my need for free stuff had let me down, never had this happened before.

Recently in an English exam we had to write about memories as a child. My memories all stem from my home and its odd that I'm coming back to a place I lived as a child as a young women. In the exam I wrote "I believed him, (about fairies coming at night, the basis of my story) due to the understanding that all good things came at night, Father Christmas, The Tooth Fairy and chocolate delivered by over sized bunnies", and thats how I thought. For example things I greatly valued, plastic heart antenna, now mean nothing to me, I am going back a completely different person. Its a tad scary. Anyway, heres some old memories. Ugh, we're so old.

HILLS MONTERSSORI SCHOOL REUNION!

Elevator Music

2008-10-25T07:44:00.000-07:00

Well heres photographs from the following month from my ever faithful photo drive, Kingston. Dead set, its comes up with "Kingston", hes a Butler.

The real face of Disney. Seriously, would you want to sleep next to that thing? It looks like the precursor to Chucky. The one on the far (gets out hands and produces L shapes) right is French Mickey. Porquoi? He had a moustache. Yes, Disney is in now way stereotypical. As shown in High School Musical, the British truly are nice people and no, the Americans do not always have to win.

I know its racist, but isn't that simply fantastic phrase, "Golly its good", with a golly-wog, whoever thought of that is just, sheesh, I would shake their hand.

Heck yes.
For Kellatron, even if you are "snarky"

Its a white rabbit. Minus melamine.

Pass this on! Its a cracker!

2008-10-23T01:34:00.000-07:00

I received this in an email. I found this incredibly funny. But I also think my 'fraid not/frayed knot joke is the work of pure genius, so I guess I'm no judge.

And finally the week comes to an end. I had a deep emotional experience today, thank you Kirra.

So two more exams, thankfully, as my attention is fading away rapidly.In the last exam I found myself humming "Big Girls Don't Cry" to which I condemned, "back demon, back" in my head and desperately tried to change to "Boys Don't Cry". Basically I wasn't concentrating too hard on the exam. Which may have caused me to not read the question correctly and just write about any artist I knew, such as Dali, just because I knew his life story and Pierre-Auguste Renoir so I could make a critical quote (phwoar!). I mentioned him painting his elbows blue, which he truly did do, so, c'mon, he has to give me marks for that, and I did study him. Just in my own time.

"Nerds don't know they're nerds, if they did, the world couldn't function".

And who encrypts?

Rupert Giles!

I also found myself pondering on the properties of cream cheese. Is it cheese or is it cream? How very utterly confusing. Is it carrot or is it cake?

Besides that we discussed our favourite chat up lines today in our intense hardcore study session. Mine include:

"Fat penguins....Just a way to break the ice"

"That shirt is very becoming on you. If I was on you, I'd be coming too"

"The word of the day is legs. Lets go back to mine and spread the word"

I told these to my friend and he stated I'd changed and was no longer innocent. What is this, a conspiracy? I am innocent, I may not be five with a flat nose therefore proving the existence of evolution, but I am innocent.

Kirra's favourite is "if I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me". And guess what, I just go it. At that precise moment, after years of hearing it I finally got it.

This coincides with my brothers statement of "are you just stupid at home or at school as well?" (this came when I frustrated, told him the fridge, that had remained in that position for about 20 years before and the switch created for the purpose of the fridge, didn't work and the plug didn't plug in after about 20 minutes of trying to plug the fridge in. My brother came and turned the plug around and lodged it in. He then did the impression of a retarded child trying to get circle into triangle, told me it was me and walked off. I guess it didn't help that when his friends came around I poured him a glass of chocolate milk, pestered his friends asking them if they want chocolate milk, sounding like the toaster in Red Dwarf and sent him out the door with muffins and half a bottle of wine. I don't make a good impression). So there you go dear brother, school as well.

Plus I added in the "It's Time" campaign into my answer. I said I would and I said Whitlam was hip. (Intended African American slang-TRUE DAT!)

Now to study as opposed to my parents teacher interview ("Oh Catlin says that healths the subject where she doesn't do anything, its her laid back time".) I am to work and learn the wonders of the difference between contraception and protection and the term "sexually active".

To all those history students out there

2008-10-22T06:21:00.000-07:00

This is for you.

As stated, if Obama got this groove on he could rule the world, just like Whitlam.

What the Candy Man can

2008-10-21T04:20:00.000-07:00

Experiments funded by Mars(Snickers, M and Ms, Skittles):

* Rats have been force-fed chocolate chemicals and had needles jabbed directly into their still beating hearts.
* Rabbits have been cut apart to determine the effects of cocoa on muscle tissue.
* Guinea pigs have had cocoa ingredients injected into arteries in their necks to measure the impact on their blood pressure.

And these are only a few of the tests that Mars has funded. Perhaps most disturbingly of all, not one of Mars' experiments on animals is required by law.

At least I can hide with the badgers

2008-10-18T03:18:00.000-07:00

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dental appointments and romances, best friends,foods, secret fears hopes and dreams.

A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

A friend sent this, it slightly pissed me off because it said that men were the far superior species because of their inadequacy and due to the fact they refer to themselves as "Fat Boy" therefore proving them to be more laid back (no, its just because they cannot remember their names) and don't divide the bill equally, each putting in 20 bucks for a 30 buck meal for three (this is due to the fact they cannot divide, not because they're bloody laid back) but this one caused me to laugh because I am blessed with chronic shortness. Once taller than my friends, I am now a true definition of the Australian term "short ass".

I know when to go out, I know when to stay in

2008-10-18T01:34:00.000-07:00

Yet, I cannot complete the end of this beginning (thats a tad odd isn't the end of this beginning, sounds highly philosophical or just like someone with very bad ways of expression) to this amazing song, because, sadly, I don't get things done.

Anyway, heres what I have been doing instead, tubing, sadly not into the realms of London Below, but never less, check out these finds.

Rosin Murphy- "You Know Me Better"
I have recently acquired a taste for electro music. It sickens me, as I used to oppose it so much, but I'm quite into that "stuff" at the moment, the whole synth bit, Ladyhawke kind of thing, although this greatly differs. This is Rosin Murphy previously from Moloko (remember, "Sing it Back", dominating the Triple J airwaves for a good reason, its so damn catchy). The main drawing power for this song for me is the fact the video is based on the works of Cindy Sherman, its rather fantastic.

The Displacements- "Frontline Hearts"
Oh god! The beginning of this blew me away, it reminded me of Joy Division, The Cure a sort of mixed punch of all of those tunes around then. Then I thought shit! Is that the bloke from "Angus, Thongs and Perfect Snogging"? But no, thank god, just bad lighting. This song is positively amazing, this is for the repeat list, in which one song I play on repeat, constantly and still never sicken of it.

White Williams -"Violator"
Again, the synth, if not for the end I could imagine this song being something you play behind doing average activities or not so average activities. Its rather catchy, like "ch-ch-changes" but saying "vi-vi-violator". Maybe at the end the average activities have turned into some kind of riot! (Child on lemonade dance ensue)

The Lodger- "The Good Old Days"
This is so sweet, the just look the regular blokes you get down at the shops, adorable aren't they?The music is a tickling fantastic, inspiring me to get up and try and dance naturally, fail, but still continue, its that good. The video is sweet, too, like a permanent 60's filter over it and everythings orange! C'mon what more can you ask for! I'm inspired to hug someone due to this song.

The Popguns- "Someone You Love"
A sort of softer The Cranberries, to put it into context. Its the sort of stuff you listen to as an angsty teenage girl that still wants harmony. Shoegazer period, like the Pale Saints, 1989 I think. From this I was linked to the Hollow Men- "November Comes", which just made me laugh, but its a delight to watch.

Winter Hours- "Wait Till The Morning"
Its deeply romantic poetry in an amazing song, it sort of reminds me of The Church, for reasons beyond me, I love it, the videos in black and white and the cut out bits cause you to ponder the meaning of life and cold frosty mornings.

And lastly, a video I sourced after Triple J's morning show, did you know theres a channel now thats basically just Triple J in Australia? I'm thinking "holy shit! What other wonders are on TV in Australia?" After that I was greeted with Top Gear Australia, proving us to be truly the convicts we are. Because we steal. And not even that well. But anyway, heres Augie March.

Augie March- "Pennywhistle"
My gran and I sat there watching this video (my gran is what can be considered as "hip", she listens to Lily Allen but refers to her as "the lovely girl with the pretty dresses".) she defined it as a good song because it caused her foot to involuntarily start tapping. The song is worthy of foot tapping thats for sure but the video is hilarious as well, especially when he beats the whistle blowing boy up, thats ace.

So, now I shall start working, I was meant to start at two. Its six. Procrastinators of the world unite but later, yeh?

I'm talking about peace of mind

2008-10-16T03:24:00.000-07:00

"In the high school of Australia, Tasmania lurks down by the bins, watching beautiful Melbourne and Sydney laugh and frolic, hoping the even weird kid Adelaide will sit next to it at lunchtime" - Justin Heazlewood

So thats what we are? Weird kid Adelaide? I understand that this piece is being derogatory to Tasmania, but please, weird kid Adelaide? At least Tasmania is the mutt of the pack and people at least know it. Adelaides the weird one that no one know about, thats meek and mild relying upon penguins for tourism. When a cab driver asked me where I was from, I joyfully announced "Adelaide" to a response of "in Africa? Arr..". Shocked, I mumbled, "no..Australia?" (wondering if such was also known). To which he happily told me his son lives in Perth, as do most taxi drivers have done since. I am amazed how many cab drivers have sons or family in Perth. The figures are outstanding, 4 out of 5 times I tell you. The money must be good, if everything falls out and I can't even get a job driving baggage around at airports (which the only real thrilling thing is the understated power of driving those buggies and beeping at those ponces in first class) I will become a cab driver. I may not have job satisfaction but at least the moneys good. I am chronically lost in about every place I ever go to but I can work around this.

So Adelaide, its the place known for churches and old people and thats about it. I know this due to the creativity of the students in my year who constantly repeat this fact as their number one insult to me and my home town. Yet, surprisingly, you ignorant fools, there is more to Adelaide. Why yes, we are the creepy murder capital of the world, as quoted by "Dexter", we own Italian Spiderman and Vampire lawyers and...wine. Inspired? I know I am.

When asked why was I coming back, Adelaide must seem like a hole to Singapore, I said "no, Adelaide has nice...lighting"

And thats all I could think of.

Truthfully I do love my little hole, I love the weird ones, just not Tasmania, they're all inbred.

She needs a face lift

2008-10-16T03:14:00.001-07:00

Banksy's new work in New York "The Village Pet Store and Charcoal Grill", finishing on October 31st. Depicting social commentary on a number of animal abuse issues, such as animal testing, mass culling of chickens for groups like McDonalds and general eating of animals. The animals are electronically created and the life likeness, especially that of the monkey, is shockingly accurate, almost creepily so. If this is what Banksy spends his money from the Pitts, then I have no objections. My favourite by far is the rabbit looking at itself in the mirror.

Theres a video on the internet where someone is laughing and saying "I don't get this one but that rabbit is more classier than I'll ever be". You got it. They were Americans.

I Know, I Know, its Serious

2008-10-16T02:31:00.000-07:00

I have a problem. Not like your usual teenage problems, no drugs (as explained before, after not much sleep, I become almost drugged. I do stupid things, like explaining my theory that groups of fish should be called "fosh". This is particularly hilarious when trying to explain to New Zealanders. They think you're taking the piss. My mother often thinks I am pissed, its all a bit of a mess really.), no sex and not much rock n' roll.

So whats my problem?

I'm a sleepaholic. I am addicted to sleep.

I can't help it. Recent trends in my life show that I'm addicted. I crave sleep, I sit there and think of how nice it would be to be sleeping. I think of lying down on clean sheets, of the joys of closing my eyes, I close my eyes for brief seconds, hoping no one will notice, I think of pillows, lovely, puffy pillows. With feathers. And I'm doing it now. This, my friends, often fails me in normal life situations.

For instance, my 6pm nap (this is not usual, I have not yet turned into my grandmother. Although I am well on the way. I wear cardigans, whine about being cold and back ache and knit. I'm waiting for some young hip thing, with a name like Cindy, because really, all hip things have a name that seems to end in Y, to take my body and use it to its full potential. Getting smashed, knowing the Soulja boy dance and listening to the music of Snoop Doggy Dog.) on a Saturday turned into a 16 hour snooze. All I remember was standing up to turn off my music and then going out cold. only to be awoken at what I thought was 5am. Mumbling "bloody hell, who smses at 5am" (besides Kirra, asking when a concert would be, well not in the next two hours, when I was sleeping- just kidding) before dropping like a dead man yet again. I later checked my phone after my semi-coma to see it was sent at 11:34pm, asking to go dress shopping.For some odd reason, I declined.

Often my sleep addiction can lead to troubles in class. Particularly in Science, in the midst of a fascinating video ("Hi! I'm Tony, the Y Chromosome! Let me show you around a cell!", by golly! Yes please!)I find myself slowly falling asleep. To aid myself I have come up with a genius plan. So to look like I am paying attention to Tony, the excited, some what despite his Y Chromosome, gender confused chromosome, I cover one eye with my hand. Therefore I am half sleeping, I am fooling them all! No, unlike the rest of my class, who simply sleep, I achieve both, sleep and seemingly paying attention. I explained this theory to my attentive audience. The response was negative. Although this could have gone hand in hand with my theory of "fosh", I don't think I could ever redeem myself from such theory.

But heres my other theory (Yes, the science blood does not run through this one). If I am sleeping, I'm not eating, therefore, its like a diet program. My sleep is also pretty intense, I often sleep in some sort of yoga position or else find myself upside down (I tried to stop this. Some folk legend I saw on the ABC channel as a kid said if you sleep upside down you give birth to a hedgehog baby. I remember the image of the baby, some odd man dressed as a hedgehog wailing. I have been scared ever since.). Strangely no book deals have come through, but I am sure, once they catch on, it'll be bigger than Atkins.

I explained this to my mother, to explain the seriousness of my problem. She stated I was simply lazy. "Laziness it not serious, its teenage".

Shes in denial.