Only married men wear hats

"What nasty remark did Cat just say about me?"
"I am a nice person"

Probably not the best statement to say to a teacher. Before that I was fake crying by salivating on my fingers and jamming them into my eyes to then make wailing noises into my elbow. I guess I wasn't quite in the right state of mind, but apparently I am good at fake sobbing. So it all works out okay. The teacher already thinks I'm off my head, so it doesn't really matter.

In other news, I have decided to buy a beetle. By buying a beetle when I pass people in the street they are forced to punch each other and shout the colour of my car (I'm thinking pistachio or "Italian racing green", ha..ha..ha Jack Dee). Therefore I am promoting violence. Every little bit helps.

Plus, I have attempted to darken my eyebrows. For reasons unknown (although shouting "HECK! I'M ROSE TYLER!" may be an indicator of some factors), blondes have more fun but apparently blondes with dark eyebrows have the most fun. I am a ginger in denial, but now I have dark eyebrows so I should be having more fun. I don't feel any different or feel any sense of "having more fun", my eyebrows have failed me. This is like when they say, "dye your hair! You'll feel fantastic! And different!". Notice how female magazines seem to think changing your appearance will some how make you come out of whatever depression you're feeling. Why, your completely out of your job? "Dye your hair! You'll feel fantastic!" They always add little exclamation marks at the end too, for added "happiness" and "excitement" for middle aged women . Those little exclamation marks are the downfall of the female kind.

When I dyed my hair red, I did not feel fantastic. Instead my hair stayed the colour I dyed it, as if punishment. Now I must endure constant insults about my gingerness; comparisons to orangutans really boost your self esteem, I tell you.

So anyway, I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself and my eyebrows are doing nothing to improve my low mood. I think I might go listen to some Pulp and defer the meaning within Freud boundaries. You'll feel fantastic!