This is my angry face

I wrote these ages ago when I was in my angry phase and rather geeky, the former is hidden but I'm pretty sure the latter is still rather obvious. This was ages ago, most likely my goth period? Whats that? Doc Martens and Robert Smith pasted on your locker, angry face and crosses drawn on your wrists with biro? No, not my girl!

Anyway, onwards!

Us" being the "good girls" we are loaded with a bunch of girls we have nothing in common with to show around in our break. Usually by break these girls have already ditched us for the girls who can't spell DNA. Our record was losing a buddy in 10 minutes. Seriously, that is pretty amazing. That girl now asks in science class questions like the following:

(Doing reproduction in class)

"Miss, if you have sperm on your hand and you, like, touch yourself, can you get pregnant?"

"Miss, if you're in a pool and a guy, like, ejaculates, can you, like get pregnant?"

Yes, that is the highest science class and yes, she is intelligent, and no, I don't want to know what shes doing with her year 12 boyfriend. This is wet t-shirt girl, by the way.

My experience wasn't as bad, my buddy was "stuck" with me for around 30 minutes and in that time i realised we weren't going to get along. She had someone stuck her face in what looked like a strawberry iced cake, applied large Christmas decorations to her ears and talked like she was on speed (later my friend and i were in a group with her when she asked to borrow a "pin", for about 10 minutes this banter went on about "why would you want a pin?" "no a pin" "why would i have a pin" "no a PIN" "I DON'T HAVE A PIN" till my innocent friend broke it by saying, "i think she wants a pen", we still go on about this, what joy does it bring). She soon ditched us and marched around the school with this girl who ditched us last year to be "cool" "popular" and not too intelligent. As our ex-drama teacher said "pretty thick". There not even that pretty (this may be from the perspective of a bunch of bitchy girls, snarling and clawing) but we can relate most of them to a bunch of animals; horses, ducks, pigs, you name it, we've got it. They strutted around for about a week till they separated as one got a bit cooler than another and her skirt got a bit higher, an indicator of the social status at our school.

So that girl ditched us last year for those popular girls, something she aimed for all year and quite happily told us:

(We were sitting at "our table" and shes standing peering at those popular girls and guys eating her rice, yes, just rice because of this amazing diet she formulated, to eat nothing,to say:)

Girl- I wish i could still hang out with you guys but you're not really popular enough. Like, so, yeh.

We stared at her for about 10 minutes, she left and it was said "good riddance" well, not, we really said "yeh, bugger off, you cow". Or at least, said it in our head. She later got drunk, fell into a ditch and had herself broadcasted on web cam giving a hand job. Our good, good friend. Before that she used to go around kissing my other friends on the cheek thinking it turned guys on when Dolly posed the question "are guys really turned on by lesbians?" to then say it wasn't cool to do such things or blah blah blah, but she probably hadn't read the rest with the attention of a knat.

Now Dolly, Dolly is the bible to all typical teenage Australian girls. It tells all the important things that matter to a typical teenage girl - style tips to look good (for boys), make up to look "hot" (for boys), how to talk properly (to boys), life (boys), sex (with boys), relationships (with boys), how to meet new people (mainly boys), first day back to school (how to chat up the new boy) and most importantly boys. Yes, these "Dolly" girls have their priorities straight.

Girl one- So you do French?
Girl two- Ya.
Girl one- So, say something.
Girl two- Oh..e..j'mappelle (Enter name here, this is just because, because, because)
Girl one- Meaning? (Well, if shes going to put her name there, what do you think?)
Girl two- My name is (here) but really they call me (here)
Girl one- J'mappelle (here)
Girl two- Meaning my name is (here)
Girl one- No! They call me (here), get it right douchebag!

Who says that. What warrants that, I'm not a being a prune, but it just sounds stupid doesn't it? I don't think these girl even know what a douchebag is. Douche meaning to wash, or really to shower in French, not too bad, just a wash bag, but the purpose is the insult. In the olden days these bags would be shoved up a woman to wash her insides for sanitary reasons. Do you think that girl two would like to be called a bag shoved up females. I think not. I wonder if those guys who say it to one another as a sort of endearment term know what it means. Probably not, if i tell them, which i am often tempted to, they would probably say it more..or less, depending on how much they love their friends.

More conversations:

Girl one- And i was like, "what are you, like, doing?". And this guy was, like, really hot. And he was like, "you need your passes", and i was like...

Today like seems to be used in whatever manner that teenager wishes. A noun, verb, adjective, anything really. After spending around 10 minutes with an over uses of the word "like" you start to find yourself saying "like", like, all the time and you, like, can't control it. Yet is also the rate that they say it, think Vicki Pollard, with a lisp, like this girl, mm...hardly not the most aurally pleasing conversation in the world is it? Also, don't just think its girls who say that. There are a lot of guys i know that use the word "like" as if its a bingo word, sickening really.

Girl one- And this guy ask, are you, like 16? And I'm like, no! I'm only 14, peoples.

Another very, very annoying part of teen speak today. Shes talking to one person. What? Did suddenly a whole groups surround her to hear her say the wise words of "No! I'm only 14 peoples"?. If not, then whose these "peoples"? I had this one friend, and i excuse her as English being her second language, that would address you under any circumstance as "peoples". You'd be sitting by yourself reading a book to hear, "hey, peoples", or on msn, a one to one conversation, "hey ppls". Is there a mob of people behind me? Peering over my msn conversations? How did she know? That's the only way in which this "peoples" comment could make sense. Also, "peoples" is completely incorrect to grammar, "people" is already the plural, but hey! Lets just add the s for fun and..awesomeness.

Another conversation witnessed was one about how "thin" some people were. A common conversation in the female language, like guys to....bra size? Well, same context really. But here:

Girl one- He is so skinny! (Notice its a he?)
Girl two- But he eats heaps! Like, where does it all go?
Girl one- He's probably one of these people who, like, always go to the toilet to shit it all out.

Deadly serious. Now, don't mock my girl stereotype language but i think i have the right to utter the word, ew. Who says that? WHO? Do you think that guy would appreciate being known as the boy who "shits it all out". That's normal anyway, but what? Who has to say that?

Another thing with teenagers is jokes. Now, we all have those silly little inside jokes that crack us up every time..stupid things that from the outside world looking in makes us look like retards or people with epilepsy depending on what type of joke it is (we have one in particular which is quite rightly called the "Irish bot dance", think robot dance arms mixed with an Irish jig. Yep, not that funny and its sort of worn away on me now, but at the time, it was hilarious. We even wrote it in this book called "How to be cool..a.k.a awesome". Which a lot of people read and didn't really understand. Because..it was full of inside jokes, my point exactly, most of them taking the mick out of the people who read it, but they didn't know that because they think they're too cool..gone off topic now.) But teenagers can be quite funny people, you know and funny people to make fun of, but here was a joke i heard:

Girl one- (Talking about getting ready in the morning) Yeah, i usually dress before having breakfast because coming to school in clothing is sort of essential.

Now that's funny, i even uttered a snort myself. Despite how extremely boring the topic was, (Who cares about your daily routines, this isn't a Indonesian lesson you know.) But that was funny, till it was taken to far.

Girl one- Oh yeah (laughing to herself..). I'll just come in my pajamas..(laughing again to herself)

Gone too far, sorry love. I guess i sometimes do that, but we could've visioned that our self. I'm no Dylan Moran, so i don't know the art of telling jokes (i recently found out my one friend has this fake laugh...truly. Its used when i use intelligent jokes or reference something she doesn't know. My other friend laughs all the time and does the VERY cliche thing of then asking..what does that mean?) But i believe that it was taken too far. But i was still funny, I'll give her that, my kind soul.

Well, that about all i can recall. No one more thing. I had to do this presentation, and the teacher commented on how beautiful this picture of my grandma looked, then said "Oh, can't you see the resemblance?", the class, "no", so what were they implying, rude little twots. Oh well, some say my grandmother looked like Margaret Thatcher, which she doesn't, but the people who say these aren't exactly singing "Stand down Thatcher" more like "Bring Thatcher back". So maybe they see it as a compliment rather than something that would cause my grandmother to hurl her handbag at them and tackle them to the ground.