The primative survived. I can too.

A play set in normal house. Daughter enters. Picks up sports top. Notices red pattern on top-jumps to conclusion:

"Whys there tomato sauce on my top?"

Mother replies:
(Parent humor, sound as if caring) "I don't know, why is there tomato sauce on your top?"

"I shouldn't have to wash this. I didn't put the tomato sauce there. How did that even get there?"
"No idea"

Examining top whilst walking to laundry. Stops:

"Oh, I think its pollen"
(Parent humor)"Well, theres quite a difference. Tomato sauce, pollen"
"Meh. Alright". Proceeding to place it in bag for tomorrow.
"Aren't you going to wash that?"
Daughter shake head.

(Pleading) "Make an effort?"
"Meh."
(Over sarcastic) "Oh! What a terrible mother I am! Telling you to make an effort! How terrible am I? Telling her to wash her clothing!"

Father response: "This house would be a better place"

Daughter, undefeated:
"Meh. Damn straight. Fascists"

As mother continues to rant over "terrible mother she is".

Scene ends.

It did definitely look like tomato sauce.

This whole sarcastic terrible mother thin stems from when I woke up. Put on dirty clothing. My mother proceeded to shout at me and I left slamming the door. I was justified, the clothing had aired overnight and thanks to the invention of liquid spray (environment safe), everything smells goooooood.

The next day we had another fight and I said I was upset because she picked on my appearance and she stated that smell was not an appearance and telling her daughter to wear clothing that was clean was not something people usually protest against.

I still think I was correct. She told me to wash the pollen shirt, but I'm pretty sure I can rub it off. Plus its on the inside, wear it inside out, everything still appears clean. I would say that applies to underwear too but thats only what brothers and camp instructors do.

Every morning I eat Toast but our toaster broken so only one side is toasted. I think this sets my day off badly

cheshirecat says:

really?

cheshirecat says:

i prefer it sort of wet, smooth

cheshirecat says:

oily

cheshirecat says:

and then

cheshirecat says:

i rub it all over james

cheshirecat says:

I DID IT MYYYYYY WAAYYYY

I need to stop staying up late on msn or else I end up with conversations like this. This particular conversation stemmed from using butter, which I supposedly prefer wet, smooth and oily to then rub over poor defenseless boys, before announcing that "I did it my way".

Which, I guess, makes sense in some sick demented way.

Just When I Think Everythings Going Great

Today my friend commented upon a drawing this person was doing on the board, just a drawing, nothing out of the ordinary, a comment basically made to herself.

"It looks like an egg head".
"You're an egg head".

This is becoming a recurring theme with peoples, a certain type of people if you get my drift (I AM UNCOOL) insults, not only do they on average suck, using the others peoples own words but they have no real need to insult them, no matter how bad the insult is. Its just randomly grabbing air, its not like they called them a flying green spotted nincompoop and they feel the need to hit back because they're the bigger person, its just nothing. In other news there a chance that our school formal will be cancelled, and hopefully it will.

Why? As a girl should I not be proud to dress up in the manner of things, for a boy one might add, dance, and do those essential girly, teen dream things, such as buying shoes. Well no. For one, I can't dance. Yes, 10 years of ballet dancing has done nothing for my grace, sense of timing or anything else for that matter, but boy have I got good turn out! No, I dance like a cardboard gorilla, perhaps a gorilla that's arms move up and down once in a while, add a few clicks and by jove! You've got me spicing it up to "Golddigger", the boys are well impressed. (For that to happen, you need to rub your groin up against their leg, a bit like a dog humping it before they are so impressed they have to "go to the bathroom")

That's the other thing. The music will suck. If the mood takes me, a certain 80's Kylie number comes on, or Little Richard, I dance up a storm, I dance like a woman on speed. But that never happens, and perhaps for the reasons as stated before(I have inherited my fathers dancing skills, which in the late 1970's caused him to give his friend a black eye whilst dancing to "Ballroom Blitz"). For instance my Year 6 social ("The Big Bike Boogie" I might add, if that name doesn't inspire you to boogie down, I don't know what will) consisted of a soundtrack of Bob the Builder and Mambo Number Five, to which I spent the whole night backed up against the wall making pretty patterns with my glow sticks. So I'm not expecting much. My parents recall dancing in the 80's as wearing mohair jumpers and swaying from side to side, now that, I could do.

Then theres the date. The whole kerfuffle about who will go with who. Honest to blog, it shouldn't matter, because they're not going to dance with you romantically like Patrick Swayze, no Dirty Dancing for you and most certainly no end of night Pretty in Pink style kiss. (In retrospect, I would've chosen Duckie, Blaine does sound like a kitchen appliance) You'll just sort of stand there, adopting my method of clicking out of time. Or else you'll hump them, either way really.

And then theres the outfit. Now in History a while back, Sir asked us to make a list of what to do to get ready for the formal. He had separated the females from the males and asked us to compose separate lists. So I sat there as all the females around me desperately scrawled and I wrote (well firstly I wrote-"rent out movie pref. a comedy"because at that time I wasn't considering going) "condition hair". Sir then proceeded to ask us to read out our lists. The other girls read out "do nails, buy dress, buy shoes, do toenails, get hair done and lalalalalala" then thinking I would be a repeat asked me to read out my list. "Condition hair". Sir slightly amused said, "no dress then? no shoes?". The whole point of the exercise was to show how greatly different girls were to guys in their preparations, a sort of difference in the sexes and how females feel the need to prim up for the male ape race. Basically beginning our topic on feminism. I guess with me he lost his argument. (Later in the term he read my "rent movie" comment whilst flipping through my book, this again left him highly amused and despite my feminist rights attitude inherited from my gran, I felt like a complete twat.). So I'm not really looking forward to the getting ready part. Yet, I have bought my items already. What! Feminist rights activist me has already bought her dress and shoes? Why yes, I have, and how? Well, you might ask. I am aiming to spend the least amount of money on the formal as I can. At the moment I have a round total of 10 dollars, for my shoes and dress, in comparison to my friend whose budget is 800 buckaroos, inclusion of fake tan.

So, I'm set. All I need to do now is "condition hair".

Esteemers

At my place this Friday, I'm having this massive pillow fight, with around 20 people coming. So a pillow part, although that does sound utterly wrong. Broaching the subject with my parents, they seemed only concerned with one thing:

"You have that many friends?" -My mother stated in half shock, thinking that a get together with my friends would be about five of us sitting around eating cheese and cucumber sandwiches with perhaps a bit of pop to spice things up.

"Yes, yes I do, as weird as that may seem"

My father than, coming out of his shock attack at the fact that his daughter might actually have friends and might actually like her and gasp! Shock, horror! Might not be the complete social reject that he thought she was, jumped to the logical conclusion.

"Oh, no you don't. They're using you, tell them they can't come round"

Sadly, this was not news to me and this conversation occurs on a regular basis ("You're going to a party on Friday night? You? Party? With people? Friday night?") and despite my efforts to prove that yes, I do actually have a group of friends with a rather large number, that yes, it includes boys and yes, they're not using me as I haven't really got much to be used for, it still comes as a shock to my parents. In the end, they agreed, stating that they only say such comments to protect me and to stop whining about them downing my self-esteem as they really are helping me, I just haven't figured it out yet.

Although, after that conversation, the following morning my father said "so what wossies am I going to beat up?".

Where and Why?- The Y Generation

Truth

Natalie Narayan
12th November 1992
Living in Seoul (interview conducted in Singapore)
Previous Residences (in chronological order): New Zealand, Sydney (Australia), Singapore
Student

I want to be very rich and have a successful career, be happy have job satisfaction, have my happily ever after. I want to do everything I've set out to do like studying and living overseas. When you live overseas you experience so many different cultures, you want to see more and more. You've become exposed. We are so lucky, I've been able to travel and experience cultures that others can’t. I don't feel the need to move, I'm happy with my life at the moment. I've lived in Singapore for so long though; I want to experience something new. Change happens, you don't always dive into it, you're hesitant, wanting to stay in your comfort zone but is usually works out to be the best choice for you in life.

---

Citizen

Mia Visser
2nd April 1986
Living in Singapore (currently between jobs)
Previous Residences (in chronological order): South Africa, Perth, Melbourne, Singapore, Adelaide, Melbourne, Adelaide, Perth, Adelaide (Australia)
Hotelier

I’ve grown more culturally aware, I move every seven years, I’m in the mind set that I’m always moving, its become second nature. I just pack up and go, not having to worry about culture shock. I’ll keep traveling, I want to see the world, meet new exciting and interesting people and gain a bucket load of qualifications. I hope not to be restricted in life and just be able to follow my dreams, experience the world. My goal is to see every country in the world, as they say, the world is your oyster. I think I’ll only settle down when I’m 35.

---

Bryter Lyter

Jack Wallis
21st December 1989
Living in Aldgate (South Australia)
Student

I want to be famous, respected or perhaps infamous. I want a CD with my name on it. I really want to make a name for myself. Yet, I think I’ll always come back to Adelaide. I’ve never left Adelaide so I really want to travel to all the big cities, New York, Paris, London and Tokyo. I don’t want to study. Who does? No one does at university. I’m doing screen writing but I’m mainly just interested in music. If my band breaks up, like all do, I’ll do something else but I just really want to do the music. I have no obvious route in my life but I’m not scared.

---

Dahl

Hannah Fitzgerald Dolling
11th December 1992
Living in Little Hampton (South Australia)
Student

I can't really tell the differences in myself. I hope to become a more confident, involved person, more accomplishments under my belt. I want to immigrate to the UK, travel everywhere and see everything. I want to, but I probably won't, study at Cambridge and be safe in the knowledge I am a genius. My father traveled and experienced different cultures so I want to, I've been to Asia, Europe and New Zealand but I want to see more. I would backpack, but preferably not as I like to shower. I need to get away. I want to get out of Adelaide, Adelaide's a hole, and people are irrelevant. I have no idea is I am stable and settled in life, it's a bit depressing, isn't it? I'm settled enough, it's difficult to know if I'm happy, I have not lived life. I can't make changes to my life, you can't choose what you want in your future anyway.

---

Youth

Miki Nagai
25th April 1992
Living in Singapore
Previous Residences (in chronological order): Tokyo, Chiba (Japan), Los Angeles (USA)
Student

I just want a normal, slow life, I don’t plan to travel overseas that much. I want to go back home to Japan, go to uni, get married, work for a few years. I want to be a mum and just have a quiet life. Perhaps travel to Hawaii and Korea and because of going to the Australian school, travel to Australia, I’m too lazy, I like staying in one spot. The fact is, I’ve been moved so many times in my life I just want to stop moving around. Although, I am happy with my life right now and where I am, I am happy with the people who are around me.

---

Time

Simon Michalski
22nd January 1986
Living in Aldgate (South Australia)
Previous Residences: Zimbabwe, Harare
Student

I learnt how to talk to girls, choose which girls will talk to me and know where to find these girls; hence I know all the important things in life. I definitely want to travel, for holidays and study, but not to immigrate. I'd travel to South Africa, especially because it's my hometown. I’d travel to Africa, Asia and Europe. It’s the escapism idea, to get out of Adelaide. I am happy though, I have no obvious changes to make to my life. I know where I am going; I have an obvious path in physiotherapy rehabilitation. I don't believe in wanting to change what I have in life right now.

Caroline Mansueto
26th January 1985
Living in Aldgate (South Australia)
Student/ Food Attendant

I've had the most changes in my life in the past week, I'm moving away from home and left my tertiary schooling, I'm at the point in my life where I don't know what I want, I'm just working and living. I'm going through a lot of changes; the only constant thing is my relationship with Simon. I want to be happy in the next few years and be comfortable in a job, be comfortable enough to be able to travel overseas. I've never been overseas; I want to see something that's not Adelaide. I'm trapped in a small environment. I want to go everywhere, Africa, Asia, South America, I want to go to Malta because of my father.. I would even live overseas. I have the aspirations of a stay at home mother, I want to have a family one day, but not right now. I'm happy in life, more or less.

---

Happiness

Bronte Morel
8th December 1992
Living in Singapore
Previous Residences: Canberra, Queensland, Sydney (Australia)
Student/ Babysitter

I want to go everywhere in the world! Winter wonderlands, beaches in Hawaii, I want to live in Hawaii, I’ve just always wanted to. I don’t really feel the need to move or get away, I more feel the need to be with people. I want to be able to help people, work in an orphanage or be a preschool teacher, I love being around people. I am a hundred percent happy in life and I’m always going to be happy. As long as I have people around me I am happy.

---

Joy

Consuelo Cofre
1st May 1993
Living in Singapore
Previous Residences: Santiago (Chile)
Student

Living overseas has improved my English, I’ve become more mature, even if you can’t tell and I’ve met more people, I’ve gained memories I will never forget. At the beginning I didn’t want to move, I’d miss people and friends but I guess everything is for a reason and it didn’t turn out to be the bad in the end. I’m happy I moved. I still want to travel more, go to places I haven’t had a chance to. I want to go to Nepal and Cambodia, I’d like to somehow help the conditions there or Europe as I have never been there before. I’d like to live overseas again but I’d rather stay in Singapore and finish my schooling, I like Singapore a lot but If I could change one thing I’d change the weather, then it would be a pretty perfect country for me.

---

Gold

Stephanie Fenech
16th November 1992
Living in New South Wales (interview conducted in Singapore)
Previous Residences: Sydney (Australia), Singapore
Student

If I was asked if I wanted to travel overseas before I actually lived overseas, I would’ve said no, I’d just have stayed in Australia. Now its just the way of life. I plan to travel more in life, when I graduate I want to do six months of traveling around the world. I’d probably do university in Sydney but I don’t want to settle down straight away. I want to travel the world. It’s an experience and you find it’s so different from Australia; you can make friends from all over the world. At this moment I like my life, I am settled but soon I will be moving again, I’m hoping it won’t take too long to settle in again. In life I am a happy person, I like my life.

---

Yellow

Roxan Calvo
11th June 1993
Living in Singapore
Previous Residences (in chronological order): Antwerp (Belgium), Paris (France), London (England), Perth (Australia)
Student

Living in a different country I’ve learnt to value friendship more. Everyone’s always leaving, I need to have friends and enjoy the time I have with them. I do feel the need to move, because everyone’s always leaving I don’t always want to be the one left behind. It has changed me living overseas. If I hadn’t lived overseas I’d be stuck in Belgium like everyone else with these same traditional views. I think everything happens for a reason. I believe that.

---

Destination

Evan Cooper
15th June 1992
Living in Singapore
Previous Residences: Wellington (New Zealand)
Student

I’ve matured mentally by living overseas and become more socially outgoing person. In life more or less I want to be a famous musician. I want to get my musical skills up to a level where I can perform. I the music plan fails I’ll move back to New Zealand for study. I want to have the freedom to decide my education and the things that I want to do. There’s always this stress of having to meet other peoples expectations.

---

Let Them Eat Cake

Georgia Barnes
9th November 1992
Living in Sydney (Australia- interview conducted in Singapore)
Previous Residences (in chronological order): Sydney, Singapore, London (England), Singapore
Student

When I was seven I moved for the first time in my life, I’ve continued moving in life ever since but it’s not permanent. Traveling creates you to be less closed minded. I really enjoy traveling, being able to see new things. I feel the need to move but I do like having a house and knowing that I’ll be there for a while. I’m sort of happy in life at the moment; I want to know who I am. as I’m leaving soon, I’ll have to come out of my comfort zone, which scares me, I haven’t lived in Australia for so long and I don’t know what it will be like.

---

Belonging

Daphne Suherman
9th June 1992
Living in Singapore
Previous Residences: Medan (Indonesia)
Student

I don’t feel that I belong in Singapore. Singapore is too urban. If I was to travel I’d travel to Rome or somewhere with big open spaces. Living overseas has changed me a lot, I moved when I was seven and it was a completely new experience for me, I was a complete stranger to it. In a way I am glad I moved country. Indonesia has many riots and I think my parents are glad we moved too. There are many advantages and disadvantages to living overseas, although, I can’t imagine not living in Indonesia, I will always go back there, either to take over the family business or to be a lawyer. Indonesia is my home, Indonesia is where I belong.

---

Entropy

Aidin Langford
28th February 1986
Living in Flinders Hall (South Australia)
Previous Residences in chronological order): Indonesia, Singapore
Biology Student

I have no real ambitions; get a good job in science, being a mad scientist would be great. I've lived overseas, so I'd definitely want to travel overseas, study overseas would be good but a job would be even better, wherever really. There’s only so far you can plan ahead. I don't really feel the need to move, I'd obviously want to go Singapore again, for family but there’s not this overwhelming feeling of needing to. Being an expat you find yourself slightly separated from society, so then you definitely want to travel. You've experienced it before and you're more culturally aware. You know what's out there.

---

Brass in My Pocket

Nell Olsson Young
25th August 1992
Living in Singapore
Previous Residences: Melbourne (Australia)
Student

I didn’t want to move at first, I was happy where I was and didn’t think it was a good idea. Moving means you always have to find new friends and in the end you can’t be bothered. It’s a really hard process having to make new friends. If I was to move back to Australia it will never be the same as it was before the move. People have changed a lot and I’ve changed a lot too. It would be hard to get along with people completely different from the people I used to know. The move has worked out okay in the end, I’ve experienced new cultures and seen new things. As my father said when he was trying to convince me to move to Singapore, I’m “broadening my horizons”.

---

Rose Tint My World

Kirra Draper
4th March 1992
Living in Singapore
Dubbo (NSW), Coonamble (NSW), Ayers Rock National Park (NT), Katherine (NT), Port Headland (WA), Kalgoorlie (WA), Melbourne (VIC).
Student

I'm more open to trying new things now. Moving from place to place has really impacted my life, the people I befriend and usually hang out with really influence my personality and lifestyle. I'm still the same on the inside, however. It just gives me more things in life to consider. Of course I’m going to mature more, that's only to be expected. At the moment I’m quite content with where I am. I’ve lived all over Australia and I hate new beginning, I’m terribly bad at starting all over again so I hope to stay in Singapore to finish Year 12 but as soon as I’ve finished school, lets just say, I am outta here! I’m hoping to study mythology in uni, travel to places of deep religious significance like Egypt, Rome and Greece but I think my real calling in writing. I want to write at least one fiction novel in my life. I don’t think I’ll ever be happy in life if I don’t write something.

---

Rambles

Kerry Michalski Russell
20th May 1987
Living in Aldgate, South Australia
Previous Residences: Zimbabwe, Harare (South Africa)
Tech Support

I have no real dreams, no hopes or aspirations, if I could change one thing it would be to get a bigger room with a couch and a sound system. I don’t want to make a name for myself. I just want to get money, buy a house and travel the world. I want to holiday everywhere. It’s a fun experience, maybe I would backpack, I haven’t tried yet. I just want to move around, I’m used to moving around, but I don’t want to move around forever. I think immigration should be banned. I wouldn’t live overseas, I’d stay in Adelaide . Adelaide is good, its green, its nice and its home.

---

I Can Resist Everything but Temptation

Kelly Rogers
7th May 1992
Living in New South Wales (interview conducted in Singapore)
Previous Residences: (in chronological order) Australia, England, Seoul (South Korea), Singapore
Student

I definitely plan to travel, I would work in England, I know people there and it's the best place. I’ve lived in. My dream is to open a bookstore there, but I don’t think that will happen, I need to be more motivated. I would go into business, it's what my father does, I'd like to settle down, have family, but I don't know if I will I think I’m happy with my life, I'm not ultra, mega happy but I'm content. I wouldn't change that I've moved, I would change maybe things I've said in the past. I can't imagine not moving. I'm not sure if there's the need to move, moving was more how I got out of problems, out of stress, I always felt I could move.

---

Vincent

Andre Michalski
12th August 1990
Living in Aldgate (South Australia)
Student

I want to be a doctor, I want to help people. I wouldn’t mind studying overseas or holidaying around the world. I would travel all over Europe and China. My family has a history of movement so I will eventually track down the family history in Poland, England and South Africa. I’d also go to Singapore again, Singapore is hell good. Go and see the spewing lion again. I think I’d stay in Adelaide though. If I can I would live overseas, I guess living overseas wouldn’t be too bad. I have a decent life, I’m happy but I want to move and travel. I’m not going to stay in Adelaide my entire life.

---

Dorothy
Jessica Leppert
12th January 1993
Living in Bentleigh (Australia)
Previous Residences: Melbourne (Australia), Singapore
Student

At first I didn’t want to leave Melbourne, I didn’t realize I hated Melbourne until I actually left but in the end moving to Singapore did work out. I have a connection to people there. Generally I’ll just complete my schooling in Australia and then get a job. I don’t think I could be one of those people that at the end of their schooling just get up and take six months off traveling, I’m just too lazy. If I had the choice whenever I wanted to stay or leave, I’d probably just stay.

Smelling your own feet? THATS DISGUSTING

As stated, in the most fantastic book in the world, namely, "Thats DISGUSTING" but in the case of floorball, sacrifices were needed to be made.

As our Monday sports elective drew closer and closer myself and partner in crime, George, realised we smelt pretty bad. This was mainly due to our amazing skills on the football field where we sweat our bodies out producing a scent that even most grown men would be jealous of. Despite my attempts to convince George that our stench would appeal to the male gender, our natural scent drawing them to us like hyenas to a carcass we came to the conclusion that perhaps that actually wouldn't happen. This decision was especially supported when my friend proceeded to smell her own socks, perhaps not the wisest decision in the world.

So what was there to do? I know, I know, harmful to the environment, but c'mon, we smelt like a compost heap that had been composing for the last 12 years that not even rats felt tempted to scrounge around in, so yes, the conclusion we jumped to was spray on deo. But we didn't have any, quite obviously.

This called for some Hunting and Gathering. Which is exactly what we did, well, not me, i sort of guarded at the door as my friend quickly searched through the netball teams' bags. Finally an excited, " Ohhhh!" called my attention, in which I ran to the end of the bathroom and was sprayed madly head to toe whilst quickly jogging on the spot whilst giggling excitedly (yes, my adrenaline rush of the day, stealing some poor sods deo, score). Suddenly, a young junior walked in to see this frenzy of smells and socks and quite rightly questioned what we were doing to which we replied "you saw nothing", before giving one final spray on the socks and returning the spray can to its rightful owner.



And boy, did we smell good.

There are no fishes! Only schools!

break. At last. I need this one though, I was up to my eyeballs in work and completely and utterly stressed. I found myself so tired that I would come home slouch on the couch and point to my belly and rub it, indicating "I WANT FOOD" and if that didn't work, perhaps moan and open mouth. This often failed and i remained hungry. Unless I was able to dig up a museli bar wrapper and lick that or a strepsil/ cough lolly thing and stick that in my mouth. Did you know your only meant to have one every two hours? My friend used to pop 'em like pez, no wonder shes slightly bonkers.

The next complication came with trying to find the remote. You know how your parents always say "put things back where you found them"? Well, I do, i honestly do, but something happens they miraculously grow legs and hide behind sofa pillows with the amazing ability that despite being black or grey blend into the red velvet lounge. Its like evolution occuring against me. So, i can't find the god damned thing and end up having to watch the Crime Channel as, like always, its been left on from last night when my mum watched it till 2 am. Shes got a weird obsession with those "True Crime" things, shes read all the books, watched all the shows and can quote most homicide cases off by heart. She knows her way around most poisonous chemicals, murder weapons and trace evidence. Its generally very creepy and i think if she was to kill my whole family in a great big blood bath, they couldn't catch her, shes got too much experience, they'd find no traces, she'd be the "Big Bad" on CSI. So I sit there wondering how much longer I have to be fooled into thinking that everyone who goes into Forensic Science is buff, with fantastic hair and stll can quote Greek Mythology off by heart to catch a killer, frickin misleading that is. Sometimes to make the show more believable they throw in a pair of glasses or a "nerdy" guy, aka likes comics, puffins or is "Asian", thinking it might balance out the "crime" team.

Another obstacle is the school work. I can't "Get a Life" i can barely sustain the one forced upon me, which is work. I work nearly 6 days a week, from 9-7 and i don't even get paid. When I do finally get my holiday i have to do even more work due to "external projects", which is supposedly preparing us for the outside world. People on the outside world get friggin holidays, thats how they can jet off and ruin perfectly lovely churches or mosques in their short shorts and oblivious attitudes towards religion (which sometimes fascinates me more than the site itself, "Hey! I'll go to a Muslin country and wear a pink boob tube with no bra and denim cut offs to the Blue Mosque" ) because they get HOIDAYS. So i have to sit down an do my homework, which it usually better than watching the Crime Channel i must admit, and ponder over what else I could be doing (usually coming to the conclusion of not much). The worst if when I have to type a project on the computer and my hand will guide the mouse to Myspace without knowing it, my mind telling me I'm simply going to "listen to music". I often do but cannot help scrounging around sites, staring at other peoples lives wondering if they're happy. I end up feeling so guilty I ban myself for a week like an anorexic after a binge on cake. I'm on one at the moment, a ban from Myspace that is, I don't even know why, i have even got a Geography project to do.

So the works a no-go,the tvs shit, the remote keeps hiding and no ones thought of the help i need to make a sandwich or my ever going guilt trip about Myspace or projects . I become so stressed I end up sitting on my bed staring at the fan humming tuneless tunes or thinking of words that rhyme with Orange.

I have come up with none.

Forange? Isn't something mice do?

It's for a Cause

As I seem to have a feeling called empathy I volunteered to swim in the Big Swim for Malaria, most of my friends did not want to as their hair would get wet or they just couldn't-be-bovvered. Waiting in the change room I encountered the following discussions as the girls admired (or to a point) themselves in the mirror in their bikinis, all in the name of charity:

"Oh..My..Gawd..I look so fat" (Standing on the side in the mirror in her short shorts and skimpy top, illustrating how fat she really felt)

"No you don't!" (In that whiny annoying voice that seems to accompany all those who talk about such subjects, strangley enough their other friend has a bass voice, lower than most men. Which was hilarious, imagine this conversation with bass or tenor voice, now your laughing)

"Oh! You do not know, okay, cause your, like, not fat"

"I would know, okay, because, I used...(dramatic pause) used to be fat"

"YOU DID" (This was a chorus, like those cliche movies, it does happen in real life, girlies, you just have to find a cliche group to hang out with. Don't they realise that those shows and movies like Mean Girls are actually making fun of them or do they actually see those people and think "I want to be just like them", I wonder if they laugh in those movies and think they're so much better than them when in reality they're like their clones, the stuff the movie is based on)

"Yes, and it was a really hard time" (Like shes the frigging charity case)

"I know, I feel it now" (As these two girls practically hold her hand, claiming they understand because they're "fat" now just because they have actual shoulders and perhaps thighs, MTV has a lot to blame for)

After this the DISGUSTINGLY fat girls left and the two other girls applied their make up, you know, just in case in that brief second before hopping into the pool a guy catches their eye and notices the true beauty they have possessed this entire time that he just. Didn't. Notice. Then, came the wise plan that they needed to add an extra layer to their already primed appearance. (for the swim, which i may say was a good thing in my case, you only had to do one lap, one lap! Who cares what you look like??!! Someone should tell these girls that they're fugly and then the world will be saved from these bathroom hoggers who decide that just because were not cake faced we are unacceptable in the human race, but, if that was to happen i would feel less superior to them and have no material to write about on my blog as they will have all gone and lived on the streets producing an alarming rate of hobos who will have to get shot as the world has slowly turned into a less image obsessed place, making it also a happier place filled with less Hiltons and more Braffs, where intelligence is valued over anything. Or else it could work in the reverse, and they start popping up everywhere like rabbits in a mating season and taking over all the mirrors because someone did tell them they were fugly, but i digress)

They needed a jumper. Dead serious, they needed to wear a jumper out to a pool in Singapore, because they were "cold". But the even more shocking thing? The glammed up girl had not one but two jumpers in her bag and why?

"Oh, I'm like, going to the movies after this and I haven't decided which one to wear yet"

Oh, well of course! Why! That makes perfect sense! Thank you for your perfect insight into this complicated situation!

Finally my friend had decided to come out so our one lap swim. We retreated to the pool did our laps, two i might add, and the water was strangely warm..and a group of little kids had just swam...but never the less we came back to the changing rooms to find the "plastics" still checking themselves out and wondering the all important question hair up, or hair down.

These girls were only in Year 7, what is the world coming to? I used to feel sorry for the people who got my year as their future employees, i feel even sorrier for the people who got this group.

But i guess they're willing to get their hair wet but wait...

In a willing conversation with us non-humans (apparently a girl in our year once stated to someone who now hangs out with us "oh, don't go sit with them, they don't count as humans", lovely, lovely) we were informed of this:

"So you guys just swam?" (No, I'm just in swimmers and wet because, heck i felt like having a bath or an extremely vigorous work out. I know this is just starting conversation but I hate stating the obvious)

"Yes, you should probably get out there soon, the lunch bell is going soon"

"Oh, no, we have to do it for our PE lesson"

"Oh...right"

Everyone has a cause, in some way or another.

And now for something completely different

Have we lost all sense of innocence? So were 15, right? 15, 16, that sort of age where things are meant to start heating up. And they don't. They ultimately don't, they suck and are nothing like those American "dream teen" movies which make everything seem like some kind of amazing riot! Against the system! Revenge of the nerds! Kind of thing that never quite occurs and instead we get the shit bullied out of us and end up having a crud time that is also damn boring. So we try and "heat them up" ourselves. How? By the miracle of joy juice, and I don't mean that disgusting concoction here in Singapore, namely, Kickapoo-Joy Juice, I mean alcohol, booze, plonk, the whole bit.

But I'm not in.

So, I'm a prude, uncool (listen to this song- "Can't Stand my Baby" by the Rezillos), whatever. I just don't see the point, we are only two years away from being of the legal drinking age, therefore of the age where we can act like complete tossers and have a reason for it, because, basically thats what booze is for. Although, I don't really need the fun juice due to my vegetarianism, sugar is absorbed into my blood stream pretty damn quickly and causes quite a few results. One coke and I'm off dedicating my Ronan Keating karaoke to a friend, falling in a puddle on my ass in the attempt to find fire works, giggling insanely and quoting my theories on practically everything to then fall asleep in a bathroom. Yes, I think I've got the routine down pretty well. It could have been due to falling down in a puddle and hitting my head. Sadly, the reason I fell in the puddle wasn't the norm, slip in a puddle that I didn't see there, no. Instead, after desperately searching for what sounded like fire works (French fire works, I might add, as I shouted. I think coca cola needs a warning label) I saw a puddle. Seeing the puddle I thought, "hell, I'll jump in that". So, running up I jumped into the puddle in my Doc's to fall straight on my ass and lie there for a while. I have this idea that if I lie there for awhile then people (although there was truly no one around me, because, for some odd reason no one seemed interested in my hunt to find French fire works) might think I fell over on purpose. Which reminds me of a time when I was on a swing. Thinking it would be fun, I jumped off on the climax of my swing. Soaring, I fell flat on my face. As my condo is positioned so everyone who happens to look out their window can see the swing I lay there for quite a long time, thinking that if I did, people would be under the impression that I had meant to do that (when really, thinking about it, they could possibly think I was unconscious.). I lay there until my father, walking back from the guard house told me to get up, not questioning the reason why I was seemingly eating lawn.

What I meant to say is, we can have our own fun. I'm not preaching, I generally don't care if people want to kill their brain cells (My mum stated as her number one reason for me not to drink that I really can't afford to lose any brain cells, why thanks), thats just what happens. Its the rebellion idea, but how is it rebellious when your parents don't even care if your smashed? Theres no thrill in that, no "hot hot heat". So then why? Well perhaps it could do with the fact that they are so utterly boring and tight arsed without it that they need the juice to free themselves up a bit but let me tell you, when your having trouble forming the word "hair" then you haven't succeeded in being a riot at a party.

Its all becoming awfully luke warm, I think I might go get some Kickapoo Joy Juice, now theres a laugh.

Pulling an All Girls School

I never really fancied going to an all girls. I always thought I'd go completely mad, I couldn't talk about boys, make up and the things you think are cliche for girls to talk about but they really do. (e.g. in a maths lesson- "Do you think he fancies me?" No, he likes that slut who constantly finds her leg wedged between his thighs by accident,now, shut up and do your parabola- I think- but say "Of course!")

Even worse, a catholic all girls school. Then, my fate would be decided. On this topic, a recent conversation by my favorite study of teenage life, the girls on my bus made me realise the things I hadn't thought about in the girls school life. Touching on the subject of a womens role and embroidery it showed real depth.

"I don't wanna go to my old school. It was all girls, I'd be like, forced to do crochet. All sitting there with our crochet"

"Whats that?"

"Its like, a type of stitching, knitting thing"

"Are you sure like, that even exists"

"Yes! Cause theres like, that magazine crochet today" (I'm not kidding, that was her evidence, and how can they use like so many times, its starting to get to me, I start saying like and then want to hit myself with the nearest item, I hate it! If we are the future theres a downfall predicted on the account of the word like)

"You sure its even said that way?" (to then list off a number of different arrangements and sayings of crochet, "crotchet" being one)

"Yeh, I know, okay? Gosh!" (Little miss got mad then, this was so, so interesting i turned back to my MP3 player and tried to change its background from the photograph of umbrellas in London, to Johnny Depps face. I guess in a sense, I would fit into an all girls school. Hell! I'd love to sit and crotchet.)

Camp as a Row of Tents

So camp, the event that we await for a whole year has now finished. Theres this odd build up towards the event, having to decide groups, what to pack, who to have in your room, i failed at all of these and managed to have most people do them for me, or cram my bag at 1 am the night before leaving.

Though I knew what to pack exactly due to the presentation I had to prepare on What to Pack. To make it slightly more interesting I created Bernard the Happy Camper (wondering if anyone would realise the slight inside joke). I finally finished the presentation but had to skip the showing due to other engagements. The presentation was full of jokes about bring your camera for those awesome myspace shots, and such things, poking fun at the modern generation and making Bernard quite obviously..camp. When asking my friends did anyone laugh she said that everyone did, she asked, why did it matter. I said, because i made it and wondered if anyone understood it. She exclaimed, "oh! You made it, everyone thought someone else did it!" She then told me how everyone thought this one boy in our class who is as thick as two short planks, actually no, bordering on one very small plank, who most of the comments could be directly aimed at was getting the fame, my fame! I finally get a hint of being noticed and someone else takes it. So great just great, keeping my hidden frustrations, well, hidden I packed at 1 am and came to the Budget terminal. Just incase you wanted to hide the fact you catch budget you are taken on a round about course to the terminal where a giant sign stating BUDGET in bright blue is underlined. So much for that.

Arriving at the aiport i had come in "adventure" clothing, like you were meant to, the sensible stuff your meant to bring to camp where you'll be trekking through the Australian Outback. Now, why'd i think everyone else would do that? Everyone else came in skinny jeans, ballet flats, tight tops, short shorts, you know, the sensible stuff. And there I was in a loose white shirt, baggy jeans and what looked like bowling shoes (i was assured they were very in at the moment, they were only 20 dollars, so what the heck), to make matters worse i chose the crap line so everyone was able to marvel in my attempt to dress properly.

This theme continued throughout the entire camp. One night in particular a girl decided to walk around in Ugg Boots, she bought knee high ugg boots to camp. The next night she worse a faux fur hoodie to dinner, carefully placing her hair on the outside of the hood, for this reason my friend and I now call her Icelandic whore as she resembled the cover of an Icelandic pop CD i bought, which was oddly in the 5 dollar bargain bin. But why is this unusual fashion statements occurring, for one simple reason, simple being the truth, boys.

Before leaving the airport my parents thought it would be funny to act like the outrageous parents who cry as their kids leave for a week (when really they were leaving on a plane flight two hours later for my brothers graduation and would arrive back a day later), so leaning against the glass my parents banged on the windows and pretended to cry. To this I told my friend, "this may explain a few things", she nodded, we had an understanding.

Basically, camp is an enormous flirt fest, lets just get this straight, everyone geared up, hormones on the rage and the close proximity of boys sleeping JUST, RIGHT, THERE, causes most girls to go slightly insane. I don't know if its a good or bad thing that i don't get so hyped, jumpy, jumpy, whoop whoop, but thats just not me, I can't get excited after having an older brother who would ask me to pull his finger or simply fart without the courtesy of asking me to pull his finger, that memory haunts me forever and may explain, also, "a few things".

Its pretty sad when its come to the state where girls bring two outfits to a camp out for one night, one outfit being skinny jeans, just so a guy notices them when really you know they only care about the hot dog they're eating or the amazing V Drink that they claim is "pleasure in a can", see girlies, thats their pleasure, not your deformed bum jeans.

Besides that going to Darwin was a really fantastic experience, we were allowed more freedom than usual which was a bonus too. Until one night when we went outside the perimeters (basically to Coles and back) and had the following situation happen.

Walking along the street with two other friends a grown man came up and started asking for money, stupidly my friend stated we had no money as our shopping bags overflowed with our newly purchased items including, them: Chips, soft drink, red skins, ICM's and the complete opposite of mys Me: Organic fruit bars, glucose free, natural flavours and colouring and suitable for Vegetarians (yes, i have reached a new level of cool) the man followed us down the street till another older man started swearing at us. Retreating we walked down the street till we came to a safer part of town where my friend claimed "Don't worry guys, I know Kung Fu"

Ahh..Now i was safe.

Talking to yourself first sign of insanity? I thought it was just conversational.

"I think you need to get someone to fix your locker"

"Perhaps you should get fixed"

What did I even do to deserve that, besides the fact that it was an utterly terrible come back, but yes, thats what I got. Shocked by how stupid the comeback was and the fact that yes, he should get his locker fixed because a-it is broken and b-he keeps hurting himself on it and whining constantly about it right next to me I muttered:

"Wow..ohh..you really burnt me there"

Not noticing my slight sarcasm he smiled like he had finally acheived something. If that insult was sexual well done, but I have a hinting feeling that it is not from the fact he stated in Geography to the entire class that Boscow was the capital of Russia.

Toothpaste Kisses

Gah! So I am finally experiencing true teenage life. I came to my mirror in the evening to find a mini mountain range on my nose. I was ambushed! This never has happened to me before, I swear, never and I could not figure out the reason either. ("Whose that knocking?" "PMS BITCH!"- These two girls were saying this yesterday, just in passing I heard and it truly struck me as the oddest thing to ever enter my ears).

Deciding to not act with haste I did what any other person would do when their nose is about to become a new tourist attraction for the mountain climbing experience. I got out the toothpaste. One time, I cannot remember the source, the who, the what, the where (which probably should have led me to actually not do what I was about to do but, what the heck) I read that J.Lo put toothpaste on her pimples all night, as it dried them out and meant in the morning they were gone. I thought this sounded resonable and getting a good amount of blue gel on my finger I applied it to my nose. I had defeated the suckers and I could hear their wailing. I had won. OR SO I THOUGHT!!!

From there I went and lied on my bed, for a good nghts rest (not before closing my door and locking it, learning from the one time when I tried those pore pack things and went downstairs to have my brother state I looked like a panda and myself wondering what the hell he meant. In the end I had left it onto long and my nose ended up being completely black and I did look like a panda).

After a while my nose began itching, one of those pure itches that you jsut have to scratch but i avoided it, determined to have my J.Lo skin. But I couldn't sleep, from itching it began to sting, the wind from my fan creating icy cold kicks on my nose everytime it passed. I gave up and tried to lick off the toothpaste, stupid yes because most people can't touch their nose with their tongue and stupid again because I am naturally tongue tied (I can't stick out my tongue, this caused much laughter for my friends when they connected the dots and realised "O.M.G", I can't French Kiss. The bastards!).

Running to the bathroom, crying, I washed the toothpaste off and looked at my nose. Soon enough a little village will be forming near the mountain ranges and new peaks will be developed thanks to the little ice age they had lasting five minutes, my endurance time. How does J.Lo do it? If J.Lo can do it, than any normal person can too, right?