25 August 2008

It's for a Cause

As I seem to have a feeling called empathy I volunteered to swim in the Big Swim for Malaria, most of my friends did not want to as their hair would get wet or they just couldn't-be-bovvered. Waiting in the change room I encountered the following discussions as the girls admired (or to a point) themselves in the mirror in their bikinis, all in the name of charity:

"Oh..My..Gawd..I look so fat" (Standing on the side in the mirror in her short shorts and skimpy top, illustrating how fat she really felt)

"No you don't!" (In that whiny annoying voice that seems to accompany all those who talk about such subjects, strangley enough their other friend has a bass voice, lower than most men. Which was hilarious, imagine this conversation with bass or tenor voice, now your laughing)

"Oh! You do not know, okay, cause your, like, not fat"

"I would know, okay, because, I used...(dramatic pause) used to be fat"

"YOU DID" (This was a chorus, like those cliche movies, it does happen in real life, girlies, you just have to find a cliche group to hang out with. Don't they realise that those shows and movies like Mean Girls are actually making fun of them or do they actually see those people and think "I want to be just like them", I wonder if they laugh in those movies and think they're so much better than them when in reality they're like their clones, the stuff the movie is based on)

"Yes, and it was a really hard time" (Like shes the frigging charity case)

"I know, I feel it now" (As these two girls practically hold her hand, claiming they understand because they're "fat" now just because they have actual shoulders and perhaps thighs, MTV has a lot to blame for)

After this the DISGUSTINGLY fat girls left and the two other girls applied their make up, you know, just in case in that brief second before hopping into the pool a guy catches their eye and notices the true beauty they have possessed this entire time that he just. Didn't. Notice. Then, came the wise plan that they needed to add an extra layer to their already primed appearance. (for the swim, which i may say was a good thing in my case, you only had to do one lap, one lap! Who cares what you look like??!! Someone should tell these girls that they're fugly and then the world will be saved from these bathroom hoggers who decide that just because were not cake faced we are unacceptable in the human race, but, if that was to happen i would feel less superior to them and have no material to write about on my blog as they will have all gone and lived on the streets producing an alarming rate of hobos who will have to get shot as the world has slowly turned into a less image obsessed place, making it also a happier place filled with less Hiltons and more Braffs, where intelligence is valued over anything. Or else it could work in the reverse, and they start popping up everywhere like rabbits in a mating season and taking over all the mirrors because someone did tell them they were fugly, but i digress)

They needed a jumper. Dead serious, they needed to wear a jumper out to a pool in Singapore, because they were "cold". But the even more shocking thing? The glammed up girl had not one but two jumpers in her bag and why?

"Oh, I'm like, going to the movies after this and I haven't decided which one to wear yet"

Oh, well of course! Why! That makes perfect sense! Thank you for your perfect insight into this complicated situation!

Finally my friend had decided to come out so our one lap swim. We retreated to the pool did our laps, two i might add, and the water was strangely warm..and a group of little kids had just swam...but never the less we came back to the changing rooms to find the "plastics" still checking themselves out and wondering the all important question hair up, or hair down.

These girls were only in Year 7, what is the world coming to? I used to feel sorry for the people who got my year as their future employees, i feel even sorrier for the people who got this group.

But i guess they're willing to get their hair wet but wait...

In a willing conversation with us non-humans (apparently a girl in our year once stated to someone who now hangs out with us "oh, don't go sit with them, they don't count as humans", lovely, lovely) we were informed of this:

"So you guys just swam?" (No, I'm just in swimmers and wet because, heck i felt like having a bath or an extremely vigorous work out. I know this is just starting conversation but I hate stating the obvious)

"Yes, you should probably get out there soon, the lunch bell is going soon"

"Oh, no, we have to do it for our PE lesson"

"Oh...right"

Everyone has a cause, in some way or another.

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