Messy Head

I leave mess every where. I accumulate it, its my super hero power. Today we had to clean our locker, over the past term I had collected around two armfuls of trash in my tiny locker. This included sheets with pictures of brains on that I think I was meant to fill in, a paper bag with my name written on it repeatedly for some unknown reason, a bag for bread with nothing inside it and brochures on safe sex with happy, shiny, young people (who actually were holding hands) on. I told you, its my special power, I keep everything. Today I found a piece of newspaper, and instead of putting it in the bin, I put it in my pocket. I would later take it out, analyse it in full detail, think for a while and then replace it in my pocket. By the end of the day I empty my pockets and I have about 20 different items I can line up on the table. ("Hey is that a mandarin, newspaper clipping on Amy Winehouse, used panadol packets and feather in your pocket or are you just happy to see me")

Due to this, most of the time I leave stuff downstairs in our lounge room, in about any place I can find that looks inconspicuous. My mother lines these items up on the stairs hoping that, if I use logic, when I go upstairs I will take the items and put them in my room. I don't have logic. Realising this finally, after around four days, and the items almost reaching my room, journeying upstairs boots and all, my mother asked me to remove them. To which I stated:

"Well done, I see your also working in installation art"

I shall explain. Around three years ago I witnessed Tracey Emin's messy bed. Since that eye opening experience I have called every mess an artwork, its not like I'm being a critic to modern art, I think that Emin's work is an amazing piece of artwork that deserves all of its praise. But for me, its just an easy way out. I have abused art but at least I get to watch the end of "Dead Like Me". Par example:

"Clean up these cups"
"Can't, work in progress. I call it "Dirty Cups""

OR

"Move your bag! Its been here for two weeks!"
"I'm trying to get the right balance, the right feeling. I just have not achieved my full artistic potential yet"

OR

"Take your stuff up, if you haven't realised it there as you step over them again and again"
"Wait, I'm layering the different medias together to form an aesthetically pleasing finished product"

It mightily pisses them off, but I usually get my way after a while. My bag is taken up, the cups gone and my Docs dragged to their resting place.

Except for this one time:

"I'll shove your installation art some place where it won't be too comfortable"

No one appreciates the arts these days.